happiness moeslem

Keluarga Sakinah

2008-09-03T00:57:00.000-07:00

Idaman Setiap keluarga muslim

Keluarga sakinah adalah idaman setiap keluarga muslim, tetapi tidak semua kelurga muslim memproleh atau mendapatkan keluarga yang sakinah.
Keluarga sakinah akan didapatkan manakala seluruh anggota keluarga mendukung untuk mengarahkan kesana, islam mengajarkan hal itu melalui pendidikan kepada seluruh anggota keluarga. Pendidikan ini dimulai sejak prenatal atau sebelum lahir, setelah lahir, masa anak-anak, masa dewasa sampai saat dipanggil Allah atau meninggal dunia.

Pendidikan sebelum lahir
Yang dimaksud pendidikan sebelum lahir adalah pendidikan yang dilakukan mulai saat calon ayah dan calon ibu bertemui tentu melalui proses yang sesuai dengan sunnah Rasulullah saw. Tidak bergaul yang di luar ketentuan Allah dan Rasul Nya.
Pendidikan selama dalam kandungan ibu selama hamil, kedua orang tua selalu berbuat kebaikan menghindari perbuatan-perbuatan yang menyalahi aturan Allah dan Rasul Nya, tidak melakukan perbuatan yang merugikan orang lain, tidak melakukan perbuatan yang dapat menganiaya binatanag dan lain-lain, hal ini yang salah diartikan oleh sebagian besar adat jawa bahwa kalau ibu sedang hamil maka sang ayah tidak boleh memukul tikus nanti anaknya bisa cacat, tidak boleh menyembelih hewan nanti anaknya cacat dll. Padahal sebenarnya bukan itu maksudnya tetapi kalau orang tua selalu dan sering berbuat kejelekan tentu secara psikologis sang anak akan mengikuti kebiasaan orang tua tersebut, demikian pula sebaliknya.

Pendidikan setelah lahir
Disaat sang anak telah lahir, maka dilakukan beberapa amalan yang sesuai dengan sesuai ketentuan Rasulullah, tidak malah sebaliknya yang dituntunkan tidak dilakukan sedangyang tidak dituntunkan malah dilakukan.

Pendidikan keimanan
Pendidikan keimanan dimulai sejak anak-anak bahkansejak sebelum lahir, kedua orang tua tidak melakukan tindakan atau perbuatan syirik karena nantinya akan dicontoh oleh anak-anaknya.
Pendidikan formal yang ringan tapi mengesankan adalah masa kanak-kanak, oleh karena itu memilihkan anak sekolah Taman Kanak-Kanak sangat penting yaitu yang disitu mengajarkan nilai-nilai keiamana yang kuat kepada anak karena sangat besar pengaruhnya didalam rumah tangga. Pendidikan keimanan pada anak-anak dilakukan bersamaan dengan perbuatan-perbuatan seperti berdo’a diwaktu akan dan selesai makan, akan dan bangun tidur, menhafal Al Fatihah dan surat-surat pendek.
Pendidikan keimanan melalui buku-buku bacaan yang baik dan menjadi perhatian. Hiasan dinding rumah juga berperan dalam pendidikan keimanan. Makin bertambah umur anak akan meningkat jenjang sekolahnya, memerlukan cara pendidikan keimanan yang meningkat juga.

Pendidikan Ibadah
Hadist Nabi riwayat Abu Dawud dsri Ibnu ‘Amar memerintahkan agar anak berumur tijuh harus sudah diperintahkan untuk melaksanakan shalat. Jika telah berumur sepuluh tahun masih menunjukkan kemalasan, hendaklah perintah melaksanakan shalat itu agak diperkeras, jika perlu boleh dipukul, memukul anak disini tidak membahayakan kesehatan fisik anak. Keteladan orang tua dalam melaksanakan ibadah shalat sangat menentukan keberhasilan pendidikan pada anak -anak. Shalat jama’ah dalam keluarga sangat bermakna bagi terwujudnya kelurga sakinah. Setelah selesai shalat jama’ah, bapak-ibu dapat menggunakan waktu untuk menyampaikan pesan-pesan kepada anak-anak.
Ibadah juga dilatihkan pada anak-anak selambat-lambatnya setelah umur sepuluh tahun shalat sunnah, puasa. Lebih-lebih setelah anak-anak mencapai akhil baligh.

Pendidikan Akhlaq
Akhlaq menduduki posisi yang sangat penting dalam ajaran Islam. Hadist Nabi Riwayat Bukhori dari Abu Hurairah mengajarkan bahwa Nabi diutus hanyalah untuk menyempurnakan akhlaq yang luhur.
Pendidikan akhlaq secara praktis, dengan perbuatan nyata, sangat besar artinya bagi anak-anak, memberikan pakaian bekas yang masih pantas kepada teman-teman sekolah yang kurang mampu, mengantar makanan kepada tetangga, memasukkan uang ke kaleng infaq di Masjid Mushalla, sangat besar artinya untuk menambah rasa solidaritas sosial pada anak-anak. Rasa solidaritas diantara anggota keluarga hendaknya benar-benar dapat ditumbuhkan dan dipupuk.
Menghormati tamu supaya diajarkan pada anak-anak. Jika tamu membawa anaanak sebaya, supaya dipertemukan dengan anak-anak kelurga yang ditamui, sehingga mereka akan dapat bermain-main dengan alat permainan yang ada dalam keluarga. Kepada orang tua anak-anak dididik agar dapat menghormati, berbuat yang baik, dan selalu sopan.

Pendidikan Ketrampilan
Hadist Nabi Riwayat Bukhari dari Miqdam mengajarkan bahwa mmakanan terbaik bagi seseorang adalahyang diperoleh dari haasil kerjanya sendiri.Untuk memenuhi ajaran hadist Nabi tersebut, pendidikan ketrampilan sangat penting diberikan pada anak-anak. Melakukan sendiri hal-hal yang dibutuhkan dalam hidup sehari-hari hendaklah telah mulai dilatih memasuki pendidikan dasar, sesuai kemampuannya. Misalnya membersihkan tempat tidur, mengatur pakaian, mengammil makana, mengatur alat-alat sekolah dan sebainya. Pekerjaan teknis seperi menjahit, menyulam, memasak, perlu dididikan kepada anak perempuan.

Pendidikan Jasmani dan Kesehatan
Hadist Nabi Riwayat Muslim dan Abu Hurairah mengajarkan bahwa Mukmin yang kuat lebuh baik dan lebih dicintai oleh Allah daripada Mukmin yang lemah.Hadist Riwayat Ad-Dailami dari Bakr Ibn Rabi’I Al-Ashari mengajarkan anak-anak diajarkan berenang dan bermain panah.
Hadist tersebut mengajarkan agar pendidikan jasmani dan kesehatan memperoleh perhatian dalam keluarga. Mukmin yang kuat maksudnya meliputi kekuatan jasmani, rihani maupun material. Kekuatan diperoleh dari pendidikan keimanan ibadah, akhlaq, keilmuan, kesenian yang sehat dan sebainya. Kekuatan material diperoleh dengan pendidikan ketrampilan dan ekonomi pada khususnya.

Pendidikan Kemasyarakatan
Manusia adlah makhluj sosial yang dalam menjalani hidup didunia pasti membutuhkan adanya orang lain. Jiwa tolong menolong hendaklah didikkan sejak masa anak-anak. Dimulai dari menegakkan tolong menolong dalam lingkungan keluarga , hingga tetangga dan masyarakat luas. Kesadaran bahwa dalam menjalani hidup ini manusia pasti memerlukan orang lain, hendaknya dapat ditumbuhkan pada masa anak-anak.
Tepo seliro, kerja sosial, tenggang rasa dalam hidup bermasyarakat dididikkan juga kepada anak-anak. Sebuah nasehat Abu Bakar ArRozi : salah satu cabang iman adalah iman yang tumbuh pada kedua kaki yang buahnya adalah segala sesuatu yang dilakukan untuk kepentingan jama’ah ( orang banyak ). Jadi perlu ditanamkan pada anak-anak bahwa manusia itu tidak bisa hidup tanpa bantuan orang lain.
Dari uraian diatas dapat diperoleh kesimpulan bahwa tujuan perkawinan menurut islam adalah guna mewujudkan keluraga sakinah. Keluarga Sakinah adalah bkeluarga yang hidup bertakwa kepada Laah swt, sehinng berkesanggupan menjadi panutan orang-orang muttaqin. Untuk mewujudkan keluarga sakinah, suami istri sangat besar peranannya.
Orang tua dibebani kewajiban untuk membimbing kehidupan keluarganya menuju terwujudnya Keluarga Sakinah. Keteladana orang tua sangat menentukan keberhasilannya. Upaya pendidikan anak menuju bertabi’at shaleh, berarti mengamalkan ajaran Al Qur’an dan Sunnah Rasulullah meliputi aspek-aspek Aqidah Akhlaq, Ibadah, dan Kemasyarakatan.
Kebersamaan dalam berusaha mewujudkan Keluarga Sakinah mutlak diperlukan. Umat pengajak kebaikan dan ma’ruf serta mencegah kemungkaran hanya dapat terwujuig jika ruh jama’iyyah dapat ditumbuhkan dan dipupuk dengan baik. Semoga Allah senantiasa melimpahkan rahmat hidayah dan taufiq Nya kepada kita semua, Amin.

Oleh: Moch.Akhwan Hamid, S.AG.

PUASA RAMADHAN

2008-09-03T00:25:00.000-07:00

Oleh : M. FARID ANWAR

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

“Hai orang-orang yang beriman, diwajibkan atas kamu berpuasa sebagaimana diwajibkan atas orang-orang sebelum kamu agar kamu bertakwa” ( Q.S.Al baqarah 183 )

Ibadah puasa walau nampak sangat berat, namun umat islam terasa nyaman, menyenangkan dan sangat dinantikan, merupakan ibadah tahunan dengan persiapan fisik tidak minum dan makan, sejak fajar hingga matahari tenggelam, bahkan untuk berbukapun disiapkan secara lengkap yang bisa disebut ta’jilan. Justru biasanya banyak yang terjebak hanya sampai disini bekal persiapan. Padahal masih ada yang lebih penting ysng perlu diwaspadai dan perlu diperhatikan.
Kami yakin persiapan secara fisik telah dipersiapkan, termasuk siap mencegah makan dan minum Insya Allah banyak yang kuat dan tahan karena sudah terlatih sejak kecil secara tahunan, namun banyak yang lengah dan melupakan, faktor yang justru sangat menentukan, yakni faktor kejiwaan.

PUASA TOTAL

Puasa secara total artinya tidak hanya mengajak fisiknya saja, namun menyertakan pula jiwa untuk berpuasa, artinya tidak hanya meninggalkan makan minum dan nafsu sex belaka, namun siap pula menahan nafsunya untuk melakukan hal-hal yang dapat merusak kondisi jiwanya.
Pada akhir ayat tersebut diatas dengan jelas Allah memperingatkan, agar kamu takwa, artinya dalam berpuasa agar hati-hati, agar wasapada, waspada terhadap ibadah puasanya, jangan dirusak deengan perilaku jahil, tindakan sia-sia, prilaku yang dapat menghapus noilai ampunan dan pahala, ini akibat bila jiwa tidak diajak puasa.!!

MENGAPA JIWA DIAJAK SERTA

Pada umumnya orang sam faham tentang merawat tubuh alias badan, memang tubuh perlu dirawat agar tumbuh, dengan memberi minum dan makan, dengan memilih menu yang baik agar tubuh terus tumbuh, segar dan menyehatkan.
Namun justru banyak yang lupa bahwa dibalik tubuh masih perlu yang ada diperhatikan, justru ini yang sangat menentukan kondisi organ badan , namun sayang banyak yang kurang paham. Alhamdulillah agama telah memberi tuntunan berdasarkan hadist dan qur’an, bayangkan andai tidak ada ajaran agama islam pasti jadi kebingungan, dengan adanya agama saja masih banyak yang lupa dan salah jalan.
Memperhatikan dan memelihara jiwa, justru banyak yang lupa dan terlena, mengapa?, karena jiwa bersifat abstrak, tidak bisa dilihat dan diraba, yang bisa dilihat gejalanya saja, bukankah orang cemberut: menandakan susah, orang tertawa: menandakan gembira, menangis: menandakan ….bisa terharu, gembira bisa terharu campur gembira?!. Jiwa memang misteri, penuh rahasia, namun alhamdulillah dengan agama kita paham, dibimbing dan dibuka, sehingga tak terperangkap terhadap hal-hal yang dhohir saja, ini disebabkan agama yang berasal dari Yang Maha Tau dan Maha Pencipta, yang selalu menunjukkan dan memberi hidayah berupa agama.
Bukankah nabi s.a.w menyabdakan bahwa didalam tubuh ada segumpal daging ( untuk memudahkan pengertian dikala itu agar mudah difahami), bila ia baik maka tubuh akan jadi baik seluruhnya, jika ia jelek maka tubuh akan jadi jelek seluruhnya, ia adalah qalbu ( hati/jiwa ). Begitu bijak dan pandai nabi menggambarkan dan memberikan penjelasan, sehingga mudah dicerna dan difahami. Sehingga ditanamkan iman didalam jiwa secara mendalam, jiwa tauhidpun ditanamkan, agar jiwa mengenal ke Esaan Tuhan, zat yang Maha Pencipta, Yang Maha Kuasa, Yang Maha Melihat.
Dengan jiwa yang mengenal dan faham terhadap penciptanya, akan lain dan berbeda dengan jiwa yang tidak mengenal Tuhannya. Secara otomatis berbeda juga perilakunya, sikapnya, akhlaknya!!!.
Jiwa yang mengenal, selalu ingat dan selalu melaksanakan tuntunan-Nya akan tenang, jiwa yang tenang akan membuat daya tahan tubuh menjadi meningkat, dengan meningkatnya daya tahan, tubuh tak mudah terserang penyakit, dengan demikian menjadi sehat.
Jiwa yang sehat membuahkan perilaku sejuk, enak, nyaman, dam menyelamatkan lingkungan. Suka senyum, bila berkata sejuk tak menyakitkan, suka menolong, tak suka meminta apalagi mengganggu kenyamanan orang, pemaaf, suka saling sayang.
Akankah pantas kita yang melaksanakan puasa atas dasar firman Allah ini faham, bahwa puasa yang diperintahkan tidak hanya bersifat lahiriyah saja!, perhatikan kalimat terakhir pada ayat tersebut diatas : agar kamu takwa. Suatu saat nabi s.a.w menjelaskan pengertian takwa, beliau menjelaskan bahwa takwa itu disini, sambil beliau mengarahkan telunjuknya ke dada.
Puasa seharusnya tidak hanya sebatas berhaus dan berlapar saja, yang artinya hanya sebatas puasa lahir saja, namun jiwanya, bathinnya harus diajak serta, ini masa sebenarnya!. Oleh karena itu sangat tepat dan pantas bila nabi s.a.w menyebutkan bahwa puasa itu perisai ( junnah ).

PUASA ITU BERAT?

Tergantung!, artinya tergantung dari jiwanya, kembali kepada niat yang merupakan bagian dari tugas jiwa pula, bila didasari dengan niat yang ikhlas karena Allah semata, puasanya jadi tidak berat walaupun terasa haus dan lapar. Ini peran jiwa, sangat menentukan!. Jiwa merupakan motivator, merupakan faktor pendorong, dari jiwa ini ibadah akan terasa enjoy, nyaman, tidak merasa dipaksakan atau ditekan, disini letak rahasia niat!.

AWALI DENGAN NIAT

Nabi s.a.w bersabda : “ barang siapa tidak berniat puasa sebelum fajar, maka tiadalah sah puasa baginya “ ( H.R lima ahli hadist )
Ini pentingnya niat sehingga Nabi sangat menekankan, dari niat ini pula akan sangat menentukan nilai ibadah, berpahala atau tidak. Oleh karena itu jangan lupa memasang niat sebelum berpuasa, pasanglah niat melaksanakan ibadah puasa karena dan mengharap akan Allah ( pahala dan ampunan-Nya ).
“ barangsiapa yang berpuasa pada Ramadhan dengan penuh keimanan dan hanya mengharapkan pahala Allah maka diampunilah dosanya yang telah lalu “. ( H.R Bukhari dan Muslim )
tentang tata cara niat Nabi s.a.w tidak pernah mengajarkan secara detil, yang penting hati menyengajakan mengarahkan niat semata-mata melaksanakan ibadah karena Allah.

Advice to women regarding marriage

2008-07-17T22:22:00.000-07:00

Abu Hurayrah may Allaah be pleased with him reported that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “If a man whose religious commitment and moral conduct you approve of proposes for marriage to your daughter, then marry her to him; otherwise, trials will prevail and great corruption will spread upon the earth.” [At-Tirmithi & Ibn Maajah] Imaam As-Sindi may Allaah have mercy upon him commented upon this narration, saying: “A person’s religious commitment assures fulfilling his obligations, and his good moral conduct assures his kind treatment of others.”

The spread of corruption and evil is the natural result of people refusing to marry their daughters off to men whose religious practice and morals are good, preferring instead to delay and marry them to those with more wealth, or from a more honourable lineage. This results in many young men and women remaining unmarried, which causes fornication to prevail, immorality to overwhelm, and chastity to vanish.

Imaam At-Teebi may Allaah have mercy upon him said: “This narration supports the ruling of Imaam Maalik over the others, in which he (i.e. Maalik) said that competence for marriage should be based only on religious commitment and moral conduct.”

Some scholars have stated that if the guardian repeatedly rejects men who propose for marriage to his daughter for no legitimate Islamic reason, then this could nullify his guardianship over her.

Some women set impossible conditions for future husbands, such as him memorising the entire Quran as well as the Hadeeth collections of Al-Bukhaari, Muslim and so on. Moreover, some of them may even go as far as to demand a man whose character is like that of Imaam Al-Bukhaari may Allaah have mercy upon him.

This is totally incorrect; all a man has to meet are the two conditions set in the abovementioned narration; namely, religious commitment and a high moral character.

How can pious men and women be brought together in marriage?

The righteous men and women in the community should play a strong role in this. For example, the wife could become a contact for the women and the husband for the men. The young women should not give up the condition of the man being religious on the pretext that they will work on him and transform him to a pious man after marriage, unless the man is known to adhere, in general, to his Islamic obligations, as well as having noble morals and shunning sins. In such a case, he may be a candidate worth considering.

People’s stance when asked about the man proposing:

Some people, when asked about a man who is proposing to their daughter, give general answers and avoid being precise. They say things like: ‘He is a nice man’, ‘He is a kind person’, ‘His father is a good man and his grandfather was religious’, ‘Much good is expected from him and he is handsome’, ‘He is polite and wealthy’ and so on. It is after the marriage takes place that the bitter reality surfaces and the young woman come to know him for who he really is, only after it is too late.

Others conceal the faults of the proposing man when asked about him due to the fear of him, or what he may do if he found out, or because they think that to do otherwise would be to backbite; but the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said, when asked by Faatimah Bint Qays may Allaah be pleased with her about two Companions may Allaah be pleased with them who had proposed marriage to her: “Abu Jahm is a man who never lowers his stick (i.e. he beats his wives), and as for Abu Sufyaan, he is extremely poor and possesses no wealth.” She said: “I like neither of them” The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Marry Usaamah Bin Zayd” So she married him and Allaah blessed their marriage, granting her a joyful life.

The one being asked should clarify everything he knows about the person who is proposing without exaggeration, and should fear Allaah regarding what he says. He should mention his merits as well as his faults; he should mention only that which he is certain of and act as if the young woman is his own daughter or sister. This is because marriage is a long term commitment and not an interim one. Marriage is a relationship that is meant to last until the grave, unless there is a valid reason to end it; and divorce frequently occurs when people marry their daughter to a person whom they do not know well enough.

The behaviour of some young women who seek marriage:

Some young women offer themselves in marriage to young men over the telephone, which is disastrous as the man may be a sinner, and some sins are more lethal than others. For example, if the man deals in Ribaa (i.e. interest or usury) then his and his family’s provision, food, drinks and clothing will be ill-gotten. Moreover, even a sinner would not typically marry a woman who offers herself to him on the telephone. He may play around with her for a while, but when he is serious in his search for a wife, he will seek a chaste and well-mannered woman. A man who had such a friend was amazed at seeing him marrying a young woman who was fully adherent to the Hijaab; upon asking why he did so, the friend replied: “I wish to marry a woman whom I would be sure of not finding in bed with another man upon returning home one day." This is how men perceive young women who freely and easily talk to them on the telephone.

The young woman and her family or guardian must investigate the man who is proposing to her so that they can discover whether or not he is putting on an act in order to appear as if he is a committed Muslim.

Histories:

It is not a condition for either of them to inform the other of their previous sins, especially if they have sincerely repented and then adhered to piety.

The vitalness of transparency:

It is very important that both the man and the woman are clear with one another from the very beginning and agree on everything before the contract is finalised.

If the family refuses the proposing man to see the daughter, then he should, at the very least, get a clear description of her.

What to do upon receiving a proposal:

The young woman should pray Istikhaarah (i.e., the Prayer of Guidance) and not to ask others to pray it on her behalf, as some women do, as this is a baseless act and an innovation in the religion. Furthermore, she should seek the advice of trustworthy people and inquire about the person.

Imaam Ahmad may Allaah have mercy upon him reported the story of Julaybeeb may Allaah be pleased with him who was sent by the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) to one of the families of the Ansaar (i.e., the residents of Madeenah) to give him their daughter in marriage. Julaybeeb may Allaah be pleased with him was very impoverished and so the young woman's mother reused the offer, but the young woman spoke out and agreed to marry him because he was sent to her by the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) himself. The result was that she never suffered in any way, and that there was no other woman of the Ansaar who was wealthier than her. This is because Julaybeeb may Allaah be pleased with him was killed in the very next battle that occurred after his marriage, having killed seven disbelievers in it. Upon finding his body, the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) carried him and buried him with his own hands. He sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) also supplicated for the widow, saying: “O Allaah! Pour Your blessings upon her and do not make her suffer in life.” It was due to this supplication that she never suffered, in any way, and that there was no woman from the Ansaar wealthier than her.

If the man proposing wishes that his future wife give up her studies or job after marriage, and he is a suitable man, then this should not hamper the marriage. Also, if the man finds such a young woman to be a suitable one, he should not reconsider marrying her due to this, as he could marry her and then convince her after marriage to give it up.

Similarly, the family and the young woman should not refuse a proposal from a man due to him having children from a previous marriage.

Some young women overlook certain matters, such as the man's looks and wealth, only to have misgivings and regret their decision later. Therefore, the young woman should be absolutely sure before giving her approval and be honest with herself when she makes her decision. Moreover, she should be content with him based on religious convictions. Some women always advise their friends regarding the matter of being a second wife, stating that it is an integral part of Islaam and that they should not refuse a man simply because he is already married; however, when they themselves get married as second wives, they act very differently to the advice they gave others, due to their covetousness.

The young woman should be a facilitating factor in her marriage; she should, for example, refuse to set unbearable conditions or a high dowry, but if her family insists, then she should nominally agree and then relieve her husband of such difficulties later on.

Some women behave arrogantly towards their husbands due to holding advanced degrees, having a noble lineage, the wealth of their families, or their beauty. The result of this arrogance is that they act rebelliously towards their husbands and thus acquire sin.

Fears of some young women in the process of marriage:

Some young women fear the imminent loss of their close friends and sisters due to their impending marriage. This may cause them to hate the future husband, perhaps causing them, prior to the wedding night, to go as far as to seek to annul the marriage contract.

This could happen for many reasons, such as:

· Improperly assessing the consequences of such actions.

· Having an irresponsible and reckless attitude.

· Favouring the joy of the short term over the long term one of having children and the establishment of a happy marital life.

Also, the husband should not deprive his wife of her female friends and relatives. The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) would allow the female friends of ‘Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her to visit her.

When a young woman is being proposed to, she should educate herself about the rulings of marriage, the rights of the husband, the rights of the wife, and how to live in kindness and harmony with her spouse. On the other hand, she should not concern herself with studying the sexual aspects of marital life until the marriage contract is completed.

The wife's role in her home:

This is to serve her husband, bear, nurse, and nurture his children, and be a housewife.

If a woman is used to being immersed in the study and propagation of Islaam, and then marries whilst not clearly having in mind a role as a wife, she may begin feeling, very sholtry after marriage, that her new role as a wife is a trivial one. This may cause her to begin leaving her house to resume her former lifestyle. It is vital, however, that she understand her role and obligation as a wife and the reward of fulfilling them. Anas may Allaah be pleased with him reported that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (i.e. the month of Ramadhaan), guards her private parts and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any of its gates that she wishes.” [Abu Nu’aym]

The married woman must persevere through the hardships of pregnancy, pre-delivery contractions and the agony of the delivery itself. Some women refuse to go through such hardships and take birth control pills to prevent pregnancy, or, if they do get pregnant, prefer a caesarean section over a normal delivery.

‘Amr Ibn Hijr may Allaah have mercy upon him married Kindah Bint ‘Awf Ash-Shaybaani may Allaah have mercy upon her. On her wedding night, her mother, Umaamah Bint Al-Haarith may Allaah be pleased with her took her aside and advised her: “Dear daughter! You are leaving the environment which you are accustomed to and departing from the place you grew up in to a partner whom you are unfamiliar with. If a woman had no need of a husband due to her parents sufficing her, then you would be the last person to require a husband, but women were created to be the partners of men, and men were created to be the partners of women. Act like his slave, and he will become like your slave. Uphold the following ten matters and you will find them to be provisions: The first and second are to be content with what he provides and to listen to and obey him. The third and the fourth are to make sure that all he sees and smells from you are pleasing to him, so he should not see you in a displeasing appearance, nor smell anything but a fine fragrance from you. The fifth and the sixth are to comfort him in his sleep and food, because repeated hunger and lack of sleep will enflame his anger. The seventh and the eighth are to protect his wealth and take care of his children; the focal point regarding wealth is to have good judgement in spending it, and that regarding the children is to properly nurture them. The ninth and the tenth are to not disobey his commands or disclose his secrets, because when you disobey him you intimidate him, and if you disclose his secrets you would not know what he may do to you. Do not be joyful in front of him when he is upset, or express sadness if he is happy."

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far may Allaah have mercy upon him addressed his daughter saying: “Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce; avoid complaint, as it instigates anger; adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.”

Pre-marital errors on the part of women:

· Freely talking to males on the telephone and being open with male relatives.

· Being over confident and rejecting many of those who propose.

· Not differentiating between wisdom and fast rejection.

· Not having the criterion by which to judge the proposing person clearly in mind.

Finally, many young women wish to get married but they waste their time daydreaming and wishfully thinking about the ideal husband. This is all fruitless; the best way for them to attain a good husband would be to busy themselves in supplicating to Allaah to provide such a person.

Women's liberation through Islam

2008-07-17T21:39:00.000-07:00

Today people think that women are liberated in the West and that the women's liberation movement began in the 20th century. Actually, the women's liberation movement was not begun by women but was revealed by Allaah (God) to a man in the seventh century by the name of Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ). The Quran and the Traditions of the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) are the sources from which every Muslim woman derives her rights and duties.

Human Rights:

Islam, fourteen centuries ago, made women equally accountable to Allaah in glorifying and worshipping Him - setting no limits on her moral progress. Also, Islam established a woman's equality in her humanity with men.

In the first verse of the chapter entitled "Women", Allaah Says (what means):"O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Aadam), and from him (Aadam) He created his wife [Hawwaa (Eve)], and from them both, He created many men and women and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allaah is Ever an All-Watcher over you." [Quran 4:1]

Since men and women both came from the same essence, they are equal in their humanity. Women cannot be by nature evil (as some religions believes) or then men would be evil also. Similarly, neither sex can be superior because it would be a contradiction of equality. Allaah Says (which means): "O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honorable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who is the most pious of you. Verily, Allaah is All-Knowing, All-Aware." [Quran 49:13]

Allaah also Says (what means): "Verily, the Muslims men and women, the believers men and women, the men and women who are obedient (to Allaah), the men and women who are truthful (in their speech and deeds), the men and women who are humble (before their Lord), the men and women who give charity, the men and women who observe fasting, the men and women who guard their chastity (from illegal sexual acts), and the men and women who remember Allaah much with their hearts and tongues. Allaah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise)." [Quran 33:35]

Civil Rights:

In Islam, a woman has the basic freedom of choice and expression based on recognition of her individual personality. First, the non-Muslim woman (from the people of the Book) is free to maintain her religion. Allaah Says (what means):"There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right path has been made distinct from wrong path.” [Quran 2:256]

Women are encouraged in Islam to contribute their opinions and ideas. There are many traditions of the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) which indicate women would pose questions directly to him and offer their opinions concerning religion, economics and social matters.

A Muslim woman chooses her husband and keeps her family name after marriage. A Muslim woman's testimony is valid in legal disputes. In fact, in areas in which women are more familiar, their evidence is conclusive.

Social Rights

The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "Seeking knowledge is a mandate for every Muslim (male and female)." [Ibn Maajah] This includes knowledge of the Quran and the Hadeeth as well as other religious knowledge. Men and women both have the capacity for learning and understanding. Since it is also their obligation to promote good behavior and condemn bad behavior in all spheres of life, Muslim women must acquire the appropriate Islamic education to perform this duty in accordance with their own natural talents and interests.

While maintenance of a home, providing support to her husband, and bearing, raising and teaching of children are among the first and very highly regarded roles for a woman, if she has the skills to work outside the home for the good of the community, she may do so (if she has to) as long as her family obligations are met, and as long as there is no intermingling between her and men in the work place.

Islam recognizes and fosters the natural differences between men and women despite their equality. Some types of work are more suitable for men and other types for women. This, in no way, diminishes either's effort nor benefit. Allaah will reward both sexes equally for the value of their work, though it may not necessarily be the same activity.

The success of a society can be traced to the mothers. The first and greatest influence on a person comes from the sense of security, affection, and training received from the mother. Therefore, a woman having children must be educated and conscientious in order to be a skillful parent.

Economic Rights:

Allaah Says (what means): "By Him Who created male and female; Verily, your efforts and deeds are diverse." [Quran 92:3-4]

In these verses, Allaah declares that He created men and women to be different, with unique roles, functions and skills. As in society, where there is a division of labor, so too in a family; each member has different responsibilities. Generally, Islam upholds that women are entrusted with the nurturing role, and men, with the guardian role. Therefore, women are given the right of financial support.

Allaah Says (what means): "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means..." [Quran 4:34]

This guardianship and greater financial responsibility is given to men, requires that they provide women with not, only monetary support, but also physical protection and kind and respectful treatment.

The Muslim woman has the privilege to earn money, the right to own property, to enter into legal contracts and to manage all of her assets in any way she pleases. She can run her own business and no one has any claim on her earnings including her husband. Allaah Says (what means): "And wish not for the things in which Allaah has made some of you to excel others. For men there is reward for what they have earned, (and likewise) for women there is reward for what they have earned, and ask Allaah of His bounty. Surely, Allaah is Ever All-Knower of everything." [Quran 4:32]

Furthermore, a woman inherits from her relatives. Allaah Says (what means): "There is a share for men and a share for women from what is left by parents and those nearest related, whether, the property be small or large – a legal share." [Quran 4:7]

Rights of a Wife:

Allaah Says (what means): "And among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put affection and mercy between you; Verily, in that are signs for people who reflect." [Quran 30:21]

Marriage is therefore not just a physical or emotional necessity, but in fact it is a relationship of mutual rights and obligations based on divine guidance. Allaah created men and women with complimentary natures, and in the Quran, He laid out a system of laws to support harmonious interaction between the sexes. Allaah Says (what means): "...They are your garments and you are their garments." [Quran 2:187]

Clothing provides physical protection and covers the beauty and faults of the body. Likewise, a spouse is viewed this way. Each protects the other and hides the faults and compliments the characteristics of the spouse.

To foster the love and security that come with marriage, Muslim wives have various rights. The first of the wife's rights is to receive Mahr (marriage dowry), a gift from the husband, which is part of the marriage contract and required for the legality and validity of the marriage.

The second right of a wife is maintenance. Despite any wealth she may have, her husband is obligated to provide her with food, shelter and clothing. He is not forced, however, to spend beyond his capability and his wife is not entitled to make unreasonable demands. Allaah Says (what means): "Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allaah will grant after hardship, ease." [Quran 65:7]

Allaah tells us in the Quran that men are guardians over women and are afforded the leadership in the family. His responsibility for obeying Allaah extends to guiding his family to obey Allaah at all times.

A wife's rights also extend beyond material needs, as she has the right to kind treatment. The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "…The best of you are those who are best (in treatment) to their wives." [At-Tirmithi, Ibn Maajah and Al-Bayhaqi]

Allaah tells us that He created mates and put love, mercy, and tranquillity between them. Both men and women have a need for companionship and sexual needs, and marriage is designed to fulfill those needs. For one spouse to deny this satisfaction to the other, temptation will rise to seek satisfying it elsewhere.

Duties of a Wife:

With rights come responsibilities. Therefore, wives have certain obligations towards their husbands. Allaah Says (what means): "…The righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allaah orders them to guard (i.e. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.)." [Quran 4:34]

A wife is to keep her husband's secrets and protect their marital privacy. Issues of intimacy or faults of his, that would dishonor him, are not to be spread by the wife, just as he is expected to guard her honor.

A wife must also guard her husband's property. She must safeguard his home and possessions, to the best of her ability, from theft or damage. She should manage the household affairs wisely so as to prevent loss or waste. She should not allow anyone to enter the house whom her husband dislikes nor incur any expenses of which her husband disapproves.

A Muslim woman must cooperate and coordinate with her husband. There cannot, however, be cooperation with a man who is disobedient to Allaah. She should not fulfill his requests if he wants her to do something Islamicaly unlawful. A husband also should not take advantage of his wife, but rather he should consider her needs and happiness.

Conclusion:

Allaah Says (what means): "It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad) have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has strayed in a plain error." [Quran 33:36]

The Muslim woman was given a role, duties and rights more than 1400 years ago that most women do not enjoy today, even in the West. These are rights granted by Allaah and are designed to keep balance in the society; what may seem unjust or missing in one place is compensated for or explained in another place.

Indeed Islam is a complete way of life.

Muslim Woman in Religion Islam

2008-07-16T00:56:00.000-07:00

There is no doubt that, as per the distribution of responsibilities, there are certain functions particular to the woman (for example, pregnancy, childbirth and the initial care and training of children). For the same reason, her body is built differently from man; and so is her psyche, which helps her with her duties, such as the love and affection for the child, and ability to sacrifice. What a sacrifice ! That it begins with the embryo, which develops with her blood and continues in the form of lactation after birth. The mother has such an abundance of patience and tolerance that she can fulfill all kinds of demands from her child with a smile, without expecting any thanks or reward. This and other similar qualities make women unique.

Holy Quran & Women

The main rule of the Holy Quran which has made men and women equal to each other. It is said in Soora Al-Ahzab chapter 33 - verse 35

(O Prophet / Messenger ! The education and upbringing of your household is all the more important, because they have to serve as models for other women. Remember that society consists of both men and women, who have to go through life hand in hand. If one of them lags behind, it is bound to hamper the progress of the other. It should be well understood that there is no difference in the potentialities of men and women; except certain biological differences which have been retained for the posterity of the human race.) Therefore, in an Islamic Society, both men and women should have the following qualities:

1 ) They should totally submit to the Divine Laws;

2 ) This obedience should not be mechanical, but must arise from the very depth

of their hearts. They should thus exhibit complete conviction in them;

3 ) They should utilize their developed potentialities according to the Divine Laws;

4 ) They are true to the covenant (9:111) which they have made with Allah Almighty ;

5 ) They remain steadfast when facing adversities, troubles or difficulties ;

6 ) They are always prompt in rendering service to others (like the fruit-laden branch of an easily accessible tree) ;

7 ) They are ever ready to sacrifice all their assets for the sake of the Divine Order ;

8 ) They abstain themselves from all that the Divine Laws prohibit them to do and they bear in mind the restrictions imposed by these Laws;

9 ) They guard their chastity fully ;

10) In short, throughout their lives, at each and every step, they act upon the Divine Laws.

These are the people to whom Allah's Law of Mukafat shall provide full protection against all types of doom. They will get great reward for all their efforts and deeds.

Women Status in Islam

The notion that women have been created to just fulfill the needs of men has been hammered into the subconscious of women folk to such an extent that women want to present themselves in that way. To men, they should appear attractive. That is the reason the Holy Quran does not mind them showing off in front of father, brothers, sons, etc. since one does not "dress up" to "show off" in front of them with the intent of attracting their attention. It is worth noting that the Quranic Verse next to the one regarding "show off" (33:33), is the declaration of their equality with men. The verse has been quoted earlier, when it is said in Soora Al-Ahzab Verse (33:35)

The Holy Quran tells women that men and women are both equally capable of performing the chores of life; then why should they (women) have the desire to show their adornment off to men. Unlike the Biblical notion that the woman was created to please the man, the Holy Quran has wiped off this concept and said that both the men and the women have not been created just to fulfill the needs of anyone of them. Both have been created to fulfill equally, Allah's programme for this universe. It wants women to be dignified and that is why it is opposed to women showing off their embellishment to men. They are not a commodity which should be made attractive for buyers so that they could fetch a good price. The women who cannot get rid of this desire are told in verse (7:176) : We wanted to elevate you (with The Holy Quran), but you have embraced the earth by virtue of trailing your lowly desires.

It is hoped that the readers realize the great importance Allah Almighty has given to women as the securer of the world's posterity. Therefore, they should be proud of their unique position and not necessarily copy or envy the opposite sex. Rather than regretting the fact that they are women, they should try to set themselves as equal to men, as Allah Almighty has ordained, and take their rightful position in the human society.

Conclusion

As was mentioned earlier, the governing rule regarding equality will be discussed later. That rule of the Holy Quran is that there is no difference between one human being and another.

The Jews believe that Heaven is for anyone who is born in a Jewish home. Non-Jews would not be able to enter Heaven. This is the biggest discrimination between one man and another. No one decides the family he or she is born into. To discriminate against non-Jews on this basis, is not worthy of a true God.

The Christians believe that every child coming into this world carries forward the first sin of Adam and Eve and until and unless he believes in the atonement (of Jesus) he/she cannot have salvation (i.e. cannot enter heaven). It is obvious, no person is born in this world out of his/her own decision. Hence it is unjust to attribute any sin that he/she has no control over.

The Hindus believe that all human beings are divided into four groups by virtue of their birth. The Brahmins are born from the head of their God, therefore they have all the respect and power. Khastri, born from the arms are the warriors, commanders and rulers. Waish, born from God's stomach, are the businessmen. Shooder, born from God's feet, are supposed to serve others, especially the Brahmin. They are practically considered non-human. No one can change this distribution. Should this discrimination be from God, then what kind of impression one gets of God!

With the revelation of the Holy Quran, all of the aforementioned misconceptions were wiped out with one stroke, when it was said in chatper Al-Asra - Verse 70 : We have created all human beings to be equally worthy of respect

Hence one cannot discriminate between one human and another by virtue of its birth. All human beings are equally respectable in the eyes of Allah. It is obvious that word `human' includes both men and women. Hence all the injunctions of the Holy Quran are equally applicable, whenever human or people etc. are mentioned, to both men and women.

The fact of the matter is that no boy is born by his own decision to be a boy nor a girl is born by hers. Hence to consider girls (or women) to be inferior to boys (or men) is just like accepting the misconceptions mentioned earlier which have been negated by the Holy Quran. Nevertheless, to consider men superior to women, is against the basic principles of the Holy Quran and negates God's designs. According to the Holy Quran, superiority depends on the individual qualities (developed personality, character, and one's deeds) and not by virtue of birth. In Islam's basic principles, men and women are equal partners. All these ideas of man's superiority are the creation of the "Islam" manufactured during the era of Muslim monarchy, when the women were auctioned off in the markets. The classical books of Muslim jurisprudence are full of rules and regulations about their trade.

Privacy Policy

2008-04-17T00:20:00.000-07:00

What follows is the Privacy Statement for all wearemoeslem.blogspot.com websites (a.k.a. blogs) including all the websites run under the wearemoeslem.blogspot.com domain.
Please read this statement regarding our blogs. If you have questions please ask us via our contact form.
Email Addresses
You may choose to add your email address to our contact list via the forms on our websites. We agree that we will never share you email with any third party and that we will remove your email at your request. We don't currently send advertising via email, but in the future our email may contain advertisements and we may send dedicated email messages from our advertisers without revealing your email addresses to them. If you have any problem removing your email address please contact us via our contact form.
Ownership of Information
wearemoeslem.blogspot.com is the sole owner of any information collected on our websites.
Comments/Message Boards
Most wearemoeslem.blogspot.com websites contain comment sections (a.k.a. message boards). We do not actively monitor these comments and the information on them is for entertainment purposes only. If we are alerted to something we deem inappropriate in any way, we may delete it at our discretion. We use email validation on most of our message boards in order to reduce 'comment spam'. These email addresses will not be shared with any third party.
Cookies
Currently we assign cookies to our readers in order to save their preferences. This data is not shared with any third party. Accessing our websites is not dependent on accepting cookies and all major browsers allow you to disable cookies if you wish.
Third Party Cookies
Many of our advertisers use cookies in order to determine the number of times you have seen an advertisement. This is done to limit the number times you are shown the same advertisement. wearemoeslem.blogspot.com does not have access to this data.
Traffic Reports
Our industry-standard traffic reporting records IP addresses, Internet service provider information, referrer strings, browser types and the date and time pages are loaded. We use this information in the aggregate only to provide traffic statistics to advertisers and to figure out which features and editorials are most popular.
Legal proceedings
We will make every effort to preserve user privacy but wearemoeslem.blogspot.com may need to disclose information when required by law.
Business Transitions
If wearemoeslem.blogspot.com is acquired by or merges with another firm, the assets of our websites, including personal information, will likely be transferred to the new firm.
Links
wearemoeslem.blogspot.com websites frequently link to other websites. We are not responsible for the content or business practices of these websites. When you leave our websites we encourage you to read the destination site's privacy policy. This privacy statement applies solely to information collected by wearemoeslem.blogspot.com
Notification of Changes
When wearemoeslem.blogspot.com makes changes to this privacy policy we will post those changes here.
Contact Information
If you have any questions regarding our privacy policy, please contact us.

Hijaab is Beautiful

2007-11-10T07:07:00.000-08:00

"Therefore, we see that the Hijab of the Muslim woman has a quality that comprises Hayaa (modesty).
Hayaa is what proceeds from Iman (belief)."

Indeed, all praises are due to Allaah, we praise Him, seek His Aid and beg for His Forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allaah from the evil in our souls and from the bad consequences of our deeds. Whomever Allaah guides, no one can lead that person astray and whomever Allaah leads astray no one can guide that person. I bear witness that there is nothing worthy of worship except Allaah Who is alone and without any partners and I bear witness that Muhammad (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) is His slave and final Prophet and Messenger sent to mankind.

Certainly the most perfect speech is the Speech of Allaah and the finest guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam). The worst of affairs are those that are innovated into this religion as every innovation is misguidance and every misguidance is astray and every going astray leads to the Hell Fire.

It often occurs to me that many of my sisters in Islam are not properly encouraged once they begin to observe the requirements of Hijab. It may be that a sister has been obliged to wear the Hijab without truly pondering over its superiority. Perhaps she has reached the age of puberty and her Wali (guardian) has instructed her to wear it. Perhaps she has recently re-verted to Islam and her close sisters have told her of its obligation. Or, perhaps her husband has commanded her to wear Hijab. A sister who does not truly know the superiority of Hijab will always remain envious of the women of the Kufar. Why? Because they see these misguided women looking beautiful for all to see. Hence, the Muslim woman then compares herself to that woman which causes her to feel ashamed of her own Hijab.

Therefore, what follows is a reminder for my sisters in Islam. It is a reminder of the true status of these so-called beautiful women. It is a reminder that Hijab will always reign supreme and that the true man (i.e. the Muslim man), will forever be dazzled by the beauty of the Muhijabah (woman who wears the Hijab).

Some Excellent Qualities of Those Who Wear Hijab

Al-Hamdulilah, it is well known that the Muslim woman is a creature of Hayaa (modesty). Allaah (SWT) loves for our Muslim women to be shielded by their Hijab. It is their outer protection from the decadence of this life. Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) has said:

"Verily! Allaah is Hayaa (modest, bashful) & Sitteer (i.e. the One Who Shields - from disobedient acts). He loves Hayaa (i.e. He loves for one to practice modesty and bashfulness) and Siter (shielding; covering)." (Collected by Abu Dawud; An-Nissa’ee; Al-Baihaqee; Ahmad; & in Saheeh An-Nissa’ee)

Thus, as possessing Hayaa is a quality that is beloved by Allaah (SWT) our sisters must feel comfort in knowing that they have this Hayaa and not the women who show themselves to the world; hence, such women will not be shielded from Allaah’s (SWT) Wrath.

Allaah’s Messenger (SAWS) said:

"Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband’s home (to show off for unlawful purposes), has broken Allaah’s shield upon her." (Collected by Abu Dawud & At-Tirmidhi)

Therefore, we see that the Hijab of the Muslim woman has a quality that comprises Hayaa (modesty). Hayaa is what proceeds from Iman (belief). That is why when Allaah (SWT) commands the women to observe Hijab, Allaah (SWT) says:

"And tell the believing women..." (Surah An-Nur 24:31)

Allaah (SWT) also says:

"...And the women of the believers..." (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:59)

Furthermore, Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said:

"Al-Hayaa (modesty & bashfulness) is from Imam (belief) and Imam is in Al-Jannah (the Paradise)." (At-Tirmidhi - Saheeh)

He (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) also said:

"Hayaa (modesty and bashfulness) and Imam (belief) are fully associated together, if one is lifted the other follows suit." (Narrated by ‘Abd Allaah bin ‘Umar; related by Al-Haakim in his "Mustadrak")

My dear sisters in Islam, know that these women who beautify themselves for the world to see possess no Hayaa; thus, they are void of any Iman. Instead of looking to the latest fashion models for guidance, you, my dear sisters, must look to the wives of the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam). Look at the extreme amount of Hayaa that ‘Aisha bint Abu Bakr (RA) possessed even in the presence of the deceased:

'Aisha (RA) said: "I used to enter the room where the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) and my father (Abu Bakr) were later buried in without having my garment on me, saying it is only my husband and my father. But when ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab (RA) was later buried in (the same place), I did not enter the room except that I had my garment on being shy from ‘Umar." (As-Simt Ath’ameen Fee Maniqib Ummahat Ul-Mu’mineen by Ibn As-Sakir. Al-Haakim brings a similar narration which he says is "good according the conditions of Imaam Bukhari and Imaam Muslim")

My dear sister in Islam, I know that it is quite difficult for you to go out wearing Hijab in a society that mocks and torments you. I know that you, indeed, feel strange and out of place. However, if you knew the status of those who are mocked by the Kufar as well as the status of the strangers, you will continue to wear your Hijab (i.e. to cover your entire body with a Khimar as commanded (24:31), as well as with a Jilbab (33:59), with the exception of the hands and face; however, knowing the recommendation to cover those parts (as well) with dignity. Allaah (SWT) says in His Book:

"Verily! (During the worldly life) those who committed crimes used to laugh at those who believed. And whenever they passed by them, used to wink one to another (in mockery); And when they returned to their own people, they would return jesting; and when they saw them, they said: ‘Verily! These have indeed gone astray!’ But they (disbelievers, sinners) had not been sent as watchers over them (the believers). But on this Day (the Day of Resurrection) those who believe will laugh at the disbelievers. On (high) thrones, looking (at all things). Are not the disbelievers paid (fully) for what they used to do?" (Surah Al-Mutaffifin 83:29-36)

Allaah’s (SWT) words should serve as a support for you my dear sisters. Also, take comfort in being a stranger among these lewd and sinful women. Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said:

"Islam began as something strange, and it would revert to its (old position) of being strange, so good tidings for the strangers." (Narrated by Abu Huraira and Reported Sahih Muslim)

As-Sufoor and It's Characteristics

As-Sufoor means to expose or to un-cover. Therefore, instead of practicing the Hijab (covering), the women of the Kufar practice As-Sufoor. As-Sufoor is sinful as it leads to At-Tabarooj (i.e. to make a dazzling display of oneself). Displaying oneself is a attribute of one who is Jaheel (ignorant). Allaah (SWT) says:

"And stay in your houses and do not display yourselves (At-Tabarooj) like that of the times of ignorance..." (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:33)

Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said:

"The best of your women is the affectionate, the fertile (in productivity), the propitious (favorable), the consultative if they fear Allaah. The most evil of your women are the Mutabar’rijat (those who do At-Tabarooj), the Mutakhayelat (who strut/swagger), and they are the hypocrites. Those who enter Al-Jannah (the Paradise) are like the Cough Crow." (Al-Baihaqi in his "As-Sunan")

My dear sisters in Islam, we see from the above Ayah and Hadith that displaying oneself is indeed Haram. Further, it is a quality of the most evil of women! Therefore, do not be envious of the women of the Kufar. They only have this life to enjoy while the believing women will have Al-Jannah. There is nothing in your Hijab whatsoever to be ashamed of as it is the garment of the righteous and pious female slaves of Allaah (SWT). In order to truly show you how evil those women who make As-Sufoor and At-Tabarooj are, let us ponder over the following statement of Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam):

"Of the people of Hell there are two types whom I have never seen, the one possessing whips like the tail of an Ox and they flog people with them. The second one, women who would be naked in spite of their being dressed, who are seduced (to wrong paths) and seduce others. Their hair is high like the humps (of camels). These women would not get into Al-Jannah (the Paradise) and they would not perceive its odor, although its fragrance can be perceived from such and such a distance." (Sahih Muslim)

Sisters in Islam, these women who practice At-Tabarooj are common among us today. These are women that even the Prophet (SAWS) did not see! Look around you and you will see those women who are clothed but naked! Look at the hair styles of the women who practice At-Tabarooj - are they not high like the camel’s hump? My dear sister, perhaps we are the first generation since the time of the Prophet Adam (AS) to witness such women. If one ponders over photos taken thirty to forty years ago, one will see that the women of the Kufar did not make At-Tabarooj as their offspring do today. These are women who will be in the Hell Fire, save Allaah (SWT) has mercy upon them by guiding them to Islam! Thus, how can you envy them? My brothers, how can you desire them over your creature of Hayaa? These filthy women will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise. This Hadith also shows us that what the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) came with (i.e. the Qur’an and the Sunnah) is the Haqq (truth)! This is a prophecy that has come to pass in front of our very eyes. Hence, will we continue to envy these evil women or be grateful to our Lord for your Hijab which brings Hayaa?

Whatever I have written that is true is from Allaah alone while anything that is false is from myself and shaytan. Subhanaka Allaahummah wa bihamdika, ash hadu an la illaha illa anta, astaghfiruka wa atuboo ilayk

Emansipasi Wanita dan Implikasinya, dalam sorotan Islam

2007-11-08T22:18:00.000-08:00

Oleh: DRA. SRI SUSANTI, MA

Ketika kita bicara masalah wanita, hakikatnya tidak terlepas dari kacamata syariat dan sosial. Sebuah isu perbincangan yang banyak mendominasi forum diskusi adalah munculnya kaum wanita di tengah teknologi dan industri. Rupanya dengan telah dipukulnya gong emansipasi, kaum wanita karier mulai angkat bicara. Kendatipun John Stuart Mill, seorang ahli filsafat mengemukakan bahwa wanita tidk cenderung memaparkan dirinya.

Rupanya hal tersebut disebabkan karena kaum wanita hanyalah subordinasi kaum laki-laki. Wanita, lanjut Mill dalam bukunya “ the subjection of women “ justru menyelubungi dan mengisolasi diri.

Di Indonesia misalnya, di saat kunjungan Belanda dan Jepang, wanita hanyalah sebagai apa yang disebut “ sexual service “ yang orang jepang menyebutnya sebagai “ ianfu “ atau penghibur nafsu belaka. Maka muncullah RA. Kartini dengan gaung dan ajaran emansipasinya sebagai cetusan pemberontakan nasib kaum wanita tersebut. Kini, gaung emansipasi telah membawa dampak yang besar terhadap tatanan nilai-nilai norma peralihan budaya yang tidak dapat dikatakan wajar. Peristiwa ini tidak pernah lepas dari sorotan sejarah, yakni sebuh sorotan terhadap kaum wanita sejak jaman pra peradaban hingga era feminisme.

Gerakan feminisme yang menuntut kesejajaran antara kaum laki-laki dan perempuan dalam segala aspek kehidupan, lahir dari kaum sosialis Amerika Serikat yang kini sudah mendunia. Menurut Dra. Susilaningsih Kuntowijoyo, MA bahwa gerakan feminisme erat kaitanya dengan Women Liberation movement( gerakan pembebasan wanita ). Gerakan ini dikenal dengan sebutan “ Women’s Lib ( WL ) yang merupakan suatu gerakan sosial yang perduli terhadap perlunya perubahan peran dan status wanita. WL yang merebak di AS dan sekitarnya, kemunculannya dilatarbelakangi oleh adanya perlakuan yang diskrimintif atau tidak adil terhadap wanita, baik di bidang ekonomi, politik, pendidikan maupun segi kesempatan lain.

Gerakan feminisme, lanjut Susilaningsih mengandung dampak positif dan negatif. Segi negatifnya, bahwa kaum feminisme menginginkan kesetaraan antara laki-laki dan perempuan, maka cenderung menghapus kodrat wanita. Namun dampak positifnya, langsung atau tidak langsung secara internasional dapat menyadarkan beberapa pihak tentang keberdaan dan harga diri wanita.

Islam sendiri sebenarnya sama sekali tidak membelenggu kaum wanita dan tidak mengikatnya kecuali dengan tali moral, yang demikian dapat mengangkat derajat dan menambah kehormatan dirinya. Islam juga menarik tangan wanita lalu menyelamtkannya dari kedzalimn Jahiliyah. Ketika Allah mengangkat muhammad sebagai Rasul, maka pada sat itu Allah mengangkat tangan wanita dan memberikan kepadanya kebebasan yang benar serta rasional.Allah memberikan hak kepada wanita secara utuh tidak kurang sedikitpun, menjadikannya sebagai pendamping laki-laki dalam melaksanakan kewajiban dan penerapan hukum.

Wanita mempunyai kedudukan sama dengan laki-laki kecuali dalam beberapa hal yang harus disesuaikan dengan nalurinya. Karenanya, dalam hal ini wanita memperoleh prioritas untuk dimuliakan dan diperlakukan lemah lembut sebagimana layaknya. Keberadaan wanita dalam islam yang begitu sempurna ini tidak dijumpai dalam agama lain. Islam sebenarnya tidak melarang seorang wanita bekerja atu melalui kegitatan di luar rumah, asal tidak melampaui batas kodrat kewanitaannya.

Wanita dan Iptek

Pembangunan telah menolong kaum wanita untuk masuk ke sektor publik meninggalkan sektor rumah tangga, atau bahkan sebuah konsekuensi yang tidak dapat kita hindari dalam proses pembangunan. Sebagai akibat dari ajaran emansipasi, yang jika kita refleksikan merupakan keinginan dan cita-cita luhur serta mulia, adalah munculnya kaum wanita di tengah-tengah gelombang kepesatan sains dan tehnologi modern. Arus wanita dalam memasuki lapangan kerja, baik sebagai TKW di luar negeri, buruh pabrik, guru atau pegawai, sesungguhnya merupakan akibat dari cara pandang sosial mereka yang berubah akibat pendidikan yang semakin tinggi. Di samping cara pandang di sektor ekonomi, maka sektor industri dipandang lebih menjanjikan hasil yang lebih banyak dibandingkan dengan pertanian. Sementara itu, akibat lahan pertanian yang semakin sempit dan adanya arus mekanisasi menyebabkan kesempatan kerja dibidang pertanian juga menyempit. Ironisnya, pabrik di tempat-tempat industri selalu tidak ramah terhadap wanita.

Kenyataan ini sangat bertolak belakang terhadap ajaran islam yang selalu megajarkan pola hidup keluarga sakinah. Tugas seorang ibu rumah tangga, kata Al Gazhali seorang ulama Mesir konteporer adalah tugas yang amat mulia. Seorang istri dapat saja keluar untuk pekerjaan tertentu, tetapi betapa pun pentingnya pekerjaan itu ia tidak boleh meninggalkan serta mengalahkan tugas utamanya sebagai ibu rumah tangga yang tidak mungkin dapat di gantikan oleh orang lain. Tugas-tugas utama itu antara lain : wanita sebagai istri.

Kedudukan istri dalam keluarga dalah sangat penting, karena kebahagian atau kesengsaraan yang terjadi dalam keluarga banyak ditentukan oleh sikap istri.

Wanita juga diposisikan sebagai anggota keluarga. Kehadiran bayi wanita sebagai anggota kelurga pada jaman Jahiliyah, dianggap aib dan hina. Sehingga tak segan-segan ayah dan ibunya menyingkirkan dan bahkan mengubur hidup-hidup bayi wanitanya. Namun, sejalan dengan berjalannya perkembangan kebudayan dan peradaban manusia yang kian maju, tiada lagi perbedaan antar manusia laki-laki dan wanita. Bahkan islam memandang, justru wanita itu mempunyai kedudukan yang mulia dan terhormat. Begitulah gelombang perjalanan kehidupan wanita sebagaimana terukir dalam sejarah. Hanya masyarakat Jahiliyahlah yang menganggap kehadiran wanita sebagai aib, sehingga patut di singkirkan.

Wanita pun di posisikan sebagai ibu rumah tangga. Peranan wanita sebagai ibu rumah tangga menempati posisi yang sangat urgent, karena dari rahim ibulah bayi-bayi akan lahir. Dan kita tahu bahwa sejak di dalam kandungan proses pendidikan anak sudah di mulai. Perilaku ibu pada saat sedang mengandung sangat berpengaruh sekali terhadap perkembangan psikologi anak.. Ibu adalah sosok yang paling dekat dan akrab dengan anak-anak dalam lingkungan keluarga. Hal ini disebabkan kodrat seorang ibu sebagai wanita yang lemah lembut, penuh kasih sayang. Sehingga wajar jika anak-anak lebih banyak cenderung menurut terhadap imbauan ibu daripada seorang ayah. Maka dari itu fungsi dan tugas serta peran wanita baik sebagai istri, sebagai anggota keluarga maupun sebagai ibu rumah tangga harus lebih di utamakan daripada tugas dan aktivitas di luar kepentingan keluarga. Karena maju mundurnya suatu Negara tergantung pada pemudanya, sedangkan baik buruknya para pemuda banyak di tentukan oleh pendidikan keluarga, dan sosok yang paling berperan dalam pendidikan keluarga adalah ibu.

Dilema Wanita Karier

Soal wanita karier sudah banyak diperbincangkan dan diperdebatkan di mana-mana, yang pada kesimpulannya menempatkan wanita pada posisi yang dilematis. Dalam tinjauan syariat, Islam sebenarnya tidak melarang seorang wanita bekerja atau melakukan kegiatan di luar rumah. Hanya saja ada beberapa hal yang harus di perhatikan, yaitu:
1. pakaian harus sesuai dengan aturan islam
2. tidak melalaikan tugasnya sebagai ibu rumh tangga
3. tidak menurunkan martabatnya sebagai wanita dan sesuai dengan fitrah dan kejiwaan wanita pada umumnya
4. tidak melnggar ajaran islam mengenai hubungan antar pria dan wanita
5. dengan persetujuan suami.

Namun demikian, gerak wanita sesungguhnya lebih di batasi oleh kewajiban-kewajiban utama yang sulit dikerjakan pada saat bersamaan dengan kebolehan syara’ itu. Tetapi pada kenyataannya menunjukkan bahwa, wanita karier dalam segala levelnya cenderung kian mewabah. Baik dari posisi eksekutif perkantoran maupun yang menjadi sekrup roda-roda indutri.

Sebenarnya, kalau kita mau berfikir lebih cermat bahwasanya motif seorang wanita karier adalah karena faktor tekanan ekonomi. Akibat tuntutan kebutuhan itu, tidak ada alternatif lain baginya kecuali bekerja, walaupun itu sangat manusiawi. Keadaan yang demikin mengaharuskan wanita dihadapkan kepada persolan yang dilematis. Di satu sisi ia harus bekerja, sementara di sisi lain ia juga harus tahan menderita dalam pekerjannya. Karena persaingan kerja yang begitu ketat, maka ia tak punya pilihan lain. Sementara ada wanita berkrier karena faktor psikologis, ia ingin di akuieksistnsinya secara sosial, yang pada akhirnya muncullah gerakan emnsipasi yang menggiring mnusia terbentur pada pertentangan antara fitrah nurani dan obsesi. Nalurinya mengatakan, bahwa ia harus tinggal di rumah menjadi ibu yang baik bagi suami dan ank-anaknya dan juga terlindungi. Tapi pada kenyataanya ia menemukan dirinya berada ditengah belantara beton dan teriknya matahari. Sebuah pilihan yang dilematis memang, antra pekerjaan dan membela anak-anak.

Kebanyakan wanita yang sudah terlanjur menekuni kariernya, cenderung menyerahkan anak-anaknya kepada pembantu untuk membesarknnya dan mendidiknya. Emansipsi wanita karier menyebabkan meningkatnya kulitas dan kuantitas perjumpaan dan interaksi pria dan wanita. Hal ini sangat menyuburkan bibit fitnah dan skandal. Kondisi semacam inilah yang tidak diinginkan oleh syara’. Sebagaimana jauh sebelumnya Allah telah memperingtkan, bahwa istri adalah salah satu oknum- disamping anak-yang berpotensi menjadi fitnah bagi suami. Betapa tidak, seorang laki-laki karier begitu bersemangat bekerja bukan karena tuntutan amanah keluarga tetapi karena kenikmatan dan kepuasan berada di tengah-tengah wanita karier yang berpenmpilan dan berprilaku sangat erotis. Wanita kemudian menjadi obyek nafsu di pria yang berselera rendah, bahkan dapat mengancam stabilitas keimanan pria yang mencoba komit terhadap keIslamannya.

Akhirnya, kalaupun wanita karir itu mau mengindahkan apa kata syara’, maka sebenarnyalah tudingan terhadap kaum wanita tidak sekejam da sekeji itu. Wanita justru akan menjadi tonggak dan tiang Negara karena keshalehannya. Hanya saja karena ada beberapa dorongan wanita berkarier, yang ini dapt mengantarkan mereka pada pilihan yang dilematis; entah itu karena tekanan ekonomi, ataupun karena wanita ingin tetap eksis di tengah-tengah masyarakat yang pluralitas umat dan ideologi.

Mudah-mudahan saja kita sebagai wanita muslimah tetap berpegang dan berpijak diatas kodrat kewanitaan, yang terlepas dari virus-virus karierisasi yang semakin mengancam pudarnya fungsi dan kedudukan wanita. Semoga kaum wanita tidak semakin lengah oleh belaian harta yang siap menghimpit tangan-tangan halus wanita. Disaat itu jualah wanita akan terpana oleh gemerlapnya dunia dan melupakan kodratnya sebagai wanita.

Kutipan SUARA MUHAMMADIYAH edisi 9

Penulis adalah seorng dosen universitas muhammadiyah Ponorogo dan Sekretaris pada Lembaga Kajian dan pengembangan Al islam dan kemuhammadiyahan UNMUH Ponorogo.

Some Miscellaneous Authentic Ahaadeeth On Women Travelling

2007-11-05T09:16:00.000-08:00

A selection of authentic ahaadeeth concerning the issue of whether or not women are to travel without a mahram (a man whom she is forbidden to marry)

"Release yourself so that you may perform Hajj with your woman."

[1] "Do not permit your women to travel, except that she has with her a mahram (Dhoo mahram)." [Reported by Aboo Hurayrah] [Related by Muslim]

Shaykh al-Albaanee declares it authentic in Saheehul Jaami’ (no. 7646).

[2] From Ibn ’Abbaas (radiyallaahu ’ánhu) who said, "I heard the Messenger of Allaah(sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) deliver a sermon saying, 'Do not leave a man alone with a woman, except that there is with her a mahram (Dhoo Mahram), and do not let a woman travel except that she has with her a mahram (Dhee Mahram).' So a man stood up and said, 'O Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam)! Verily my woman has left for Hajj (pilgrimage), and verily I am enrolled in a battalion in the battle of such and such'. He (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, 'Release yourself so that you may perform Hajj with your woman.'"

[Related by Muslim (4/104)] [Mukhtasar Saheeh Muslim of Shaykh al-Albaanee (no. 647)]

NOTE: The statement "I am enrolled (aktutibtu) in a battalion." Shaykh al-Albaanee says about it, "It means 'My name has been affirmed among those who will leave for it.'"

The statement "I am enrolled (aktutibtu) in a battalion." Shaykh al-Albaanee says about it, "It means 'My name has been affirmed among those who will leave for it.'"

As for the term 'Dhoo Mahram' there is some disagreement about exactly what it means, as for the basic definition, Shaykh Safiyyur-Rahmaan al-Mubaarakfooree says, "Dhoo Mahram: with a fathah on the meem, and a raa between them, and an inactive Haa. He is from those who are close the the woman, from those who are not permissible for her in marriage, such as her father, and her son, and her brother. [Ithaaful-Karaam Ta’leeq ’alaa Bulooghul-Maraam (p. 200)]

An in-depth discussion of the term (Dhoo Mahram) will soon be available in the English translation of Shaykh Muhammad Moosaa Nasr's book on the subject of women travelling. Ja’d is still doing some research on it presently.

[3] "Do not permit for your women who believe in Allaah and the Last Day to travel a distance of three (days) except that she has with her a mahram (Dhoo Mahram)."

[Reported from Ibn ’Umar (radiyallaahu ’anhu)] [Related by Muslim]

Shaykh al-Albaanee declares it authentic in Saheehul-Jaami’ (no. 7561).

[4] "Do not permit for your women who believe in Allaah and the Last Day to travel on a journey being three days, or exceeding that, except that there is with her, her father, or her son, or her husband, or her brother, or that she has a mahram from her (Dhoo Mahram)."

[Reported by Abee Sa’eed] [Related by Ahmad, Muslim, Aboo Daawood, Tirmidthee and Ibn Maajah]

Shaykh Al Albaanee includes it in Mukhtasar Saheeh Muslim (no. 645).

He declares it authentic in Saheehul-Jaami’ (no. 7650).

[5] From Abee Sa’eed, and verily he fought with the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) in twelve battles. He said, "Four, when I heard them, they amazed me, and delighted me: that no woman can travel the distance of two days without being accompanied by her husband, or having a mahram." (Dhoo Mahram)...to the end of the hadeeth.

[Related by al-Bukhaaree, under the chapter title, The Hajj of Women]

[6] "Do not permit for your women who believe in Allaah and the Last Day to the distance of a day, and a night, except that there is with her a mahram. (Dhee Mahram)

[Reported by Abee Hurayrah] [Ahmad, Bukhaaree, Muslim, Abu Daawood and Tirmidthee]

Shaykh al-Albaanee declares it authentic in Saheehul-Jaami’ (no. 7653).

[7] "Do not permit for your women who believe in Allaah, and the Last Day, to travel a distance of a day, except that there is with her a mahram."

[Reported by Abee Hurayrah] [Ahmad, Muslim, Aboo Daawood, Ibn Maajah]

Shaykh al-Albaanee mentions it in Mukhtasar Saheeh Muslim (no. 646).

He makes authenticates it in Irwaa‘ul-Ghaleel (no. 567).

He declares it authentic in Saheehul-Jaami’ (no. 7651).

So this is what I was able to come up with, and I hope that it will suffice as a reply to your enquiry about ahaadeeth on women travelling.

Prepared by Maaz Qureshi

Why should I wear the Hijaab?

2007-11-05T08:58:00.000-08:00

An oft-asked question by many Muslim woman! See the clear and simple answer!

"Dear Muslim sister! Come towards the gates of Paradise with us! Fulfill your duties towards Allaah, put on your adornment - put on your hijaab, and race towards Jannah (Paradise) by doing all good actions."

This is a good question and there is a beautiful answer! Allaah has commanded us with every action that is good for us and prohibited us from performing every action that is bad for us. Allaah orders the Muslim woman to wear the hijaab when she steps out of the security of her home or when in the presence of strange men. So to wear the hijaab is a source of great good for you – the Muslim woman - for many reasons. Among them:

1.

You please Allaah. You are obeying the commands of your Lord when you wear the hijaab and you can expect great rewards in return.
2.

It is Allaah’s protection of your natural beauty. You are too precious to be "on display" for each man to see.
3.

It is Allaah’s preservation of your chastity.
4.

Allaah purifies your heart and mind through the hijaab.
5.

Allaah beautifies your inner and outer countenance with hijaab. Outwardly your hijaab reflects innocence, purity, modesty, shyness, serenity, contentment and obedience to your Lord. Inwardly you cultivate the same.
6.

Allaah defines your femininity through the hijaab. You are a woman who respects her womanhood. Allaah wants you to be respected by others, and for you to respect yourself.
7.

Allaah raises your dignity through the hijaab. When a strange man looks at you, he respects you because he sees that you respect yourself.
8.

Allaah protects your honour 100% through your hijaab. Men do not gaze at you in a sensual way, they do not approach you in a sensual way, and neither do they speak to you in a sensual way. Rather, a man holds you in high esteem and that is just by one glance at you!
9.

Allaah gives you nobility through the hijaab. You are noble not degraded because you covered not naked.
10.

Allaah demonstrates your equality as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. Your Lord bestows upon you equal worth as your male counterpart, and gives you a host of beautiful rights and liberties. You express your acceptance of these unique rights by putting on the hijaab.
11.

Allaah defines your role as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. You are a someone with important duties. You are a reflection of a woman of action not idle pursuits. You display your sense of direction and purpose through your hijaab. You are someone that people take seriously.
12.

Allaah expresses your independence through the hijaab. You are stating clearly that you are an obedient servant of the Greatest Master. You will obey no one else and follow no other way. You are not a slave to any man, nor a slave to any nation. You are free and independent from all man-made systems.
13.

Allaah gives you the freedom of movement and expression through the hijaab. You are able to move about and communicate without fear of harassment. Your hijaab gives you a unique confidence.
14.

Allaah wants others to treat you – a Muslim woman - with kindness. And the hijaab brings about the best treatment of men towards you.
15.

Allaah wants your beauty to be preserved and saved for just one man to enjoy – your husband.
16.

Allaah helps you to enjoy a successful marriage through wearing hijaab. Because you reserve your beauty for one man alone, your husband’s love for you increases, he cherishes you more, he respects you more and he honours you more. So your hijaab contributes to a successful and lasting marriage relationship.
17.

Allaah brings about peace and stability in the society through the hijaab! Yes this is true! Men do not cause corruption by forming illegal relationships because you - the Muslim woman - calm their passions. When a man looks at you, he feels at ease, not tempted to fornicate…

So a Muslim woman in hijaab is dignified, not dishonoured, noble, not degraded, liberated, not subjugated, purified, not sullied, independent, not a slave, protected, not exposed, respected, not laughed at, confident, not insecure, obedient, not a sinner, a guarded pearl, not a prostitute…

Dear Muslim sister! Come towards the gates of Paradise with us! Fulfill your duties towards Allaah, put on your adornment - put on your hijaab, and race towards Jannah (Paradise) by doing all good actions. You should agree by now that wearing hijaab is extremely beneficial – it must be - because Allaah only commands what is good…

…and believe me dear sister, it is good to obey the commands of your Lord…

"Their reward is with their Lord: Gardens of Eden underneath which rivers flow wherein they will dwell for ever; Allaah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him; this is (in store) for whoever fears his Lord." [Sooratul-Bayyinah 98:8]

The Reality of Hijaab, the Muslim Woman's dress

2007-11-05T08:10:00.000-08:00

Contrary to the tales of the media, the Hijab provides an honour for the woman like no other garment does.

"Ever since the appearance of Hijaab in the west, there has been a constant crusade against this noble act."

Amidst the hustle and bustle of a teeming metropolis, a solitary figure traverses. She moves steadily in her black garment which shields her against the tyranny of this life. Whilst others around her rush frantically, she move with tranquillity and ease. The peace which she achieves beneath this veil of hers, is immense. It is a liberation beyond measure. Is this a princess of royal blood? No. Is she a head of state? No. So who is this woman of serenity? This is a woman of Hijaab. A woman amongst many women. A Muslim Woman.

The site of a woman covering from top to bottom, is not so rare anymore in the major cities of the West. For many Westerners it represents the oppression which Islam imposes upon women. For Muslims however, it is the realisation that Islam will eventually reach every corner of this planet. This is not surprising, considering that Islam is the fastest growing religion on Earth. What is surprising, for Westerners, is that 7 out of 10 (70%) people who become Muslim are Women! It is these same women who then go on to willingly observe the Hijab without coercion or force. The women of Hijaab in the cities of London, Paris, New York etc, are not all immigrants who have just stepped off the boat, as many people think. Rather, many of them tend to be women of high intellect and education. Women who have experienced the bitterness of western oppression. Women of diverse nationalities and races, who are brought together as one, under the banner of Islam.

An Islaamic Duty

Ever since the appearance of Hijaab in the west, there has been a constant crusade against this noble act. The hypocrisy[1] of the Western media has been evident for many years now, through its constant attacks on Islam and Hijaab. Despite these attempts, women in Hijaab are still on the increase. Thus, a new crusade had to be launched by the advocates of "liberation" and "freedom". For a while now, many Western critics have insisted that the Hijaab has nothing to do with Islaam. They claim that it is a cultural practice and not a religious one. This has been broadcast in the Western media with the aid of its puppets, the modernist Muslims. People such as Dr Zaki Badawi[2], have pushed this erroneous view for a number of years now. This has led to much confusion amongst ignorant Muslims, and many Muslim women are being led into depriving themselves of this great benefit. So what is the reality behind this issue? Is the Hijaab obligatory?
Hijab is an Arabic word which literally means a cover, a screen or a partition. Islamically it refers to the dress code of the Muslim woman. In answering the above question, as Muslims we unashamedly say, Yes!,the Hijaab IS OBLIGATORY!! The proofs for this obligation are many, but due to lack of space we will only quote two here. In the Qur’an Allaah says:

"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty, and not to display their adornment except that which appears ordinarily thereof, and to draw their veils over their necks and bosoms.." (Sura An-Noor 24:31)

About the words "..except that which appears ordinarily thereof..", then the scholars of Islam have explained that these words refer to the hands and face of a woman. This is supported by the hadith of the Prophet (saws) : "Aisha reported that Asmaa, the daughter of Abu Bakr, entered into the presence of the Messenger of Allaah wearing thin transparent clothing, So the Messenger of Allaah turned away from her saying : ‘O’ Asmaa, when a women reaches the age of menstruation, it is not allowed that any of her should be seen except this’ – and he pointed to his face and two hands."[3] The Hijaab is therefore something which MUST cover the entire body of a woman, except her face and hands.[4] It is NOT a simple headscarf which many women wear, because a piece of cloth on the head does not conceal the parts of a woman’s body, which when exposed, are the result of much strife. Besides covering the entire body, the Hijaab also has other conditions, such as not being tight, transparent, too colourful or resembling the clothes of a man. These conditions are also proven from Islaam.[5]

The Benefits of Hijaab

-Obedience- Whilst other women are subjected to the pressures and slavery of modern society, the Muslim woman is truly free from this. In the west, women are expected to conform to the liberal fashions which appear daily. These fashions and expectations are often shaped by men. In this way, women become the slaves of society and man. Hijab is the liberator of this slavery. It takes women away from the obedience of man, to the obedience of the Most Perfect, Allaah. This obedience will only bring about good, because we believe that Allaah is the Most Kind and the Most Just. Slavery to the one with such characteristics, is a slavery of reward and contentment. It is not a slavery from which your fellow human (the woman) is exploited and oppressed, just because your desires and lusts run wild.

As a command of Allaah, the Hijaab has united the hearts of so many. Hijaab knows no colour, nationality, race, height or weight. Through obedience to Allaah, it truly unites the women of the world. Thus, this unification has surpassed the ranks and shallowness of all female liberation movements. Christian nuns, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, feminists, lesbians, women boxers and even female gang members, are all known to have become united under Islam and its Hijaab. It is truly a force to be reckoned with. It must be remembered that this obedience to Allaah is a voluntary act from most Muslim women. Many assume that those brought up as Muslims, have always been wearing Hijaab. However, this is not so. Many Muslim women (especially in the UK), who are Muslim by name, often know very little of Islam. When they discover its true meaning, most of them willingly adopt the Hijaab simply to obey their Creator, and not because of any external pressures.

Wearing the Hijaab is no futile action. A woman may go through much trial and tribulation[6] because she has obeyed Allaah. But the fulfilment of this action will never go unnoticed, as Allaah say :
Whilst other women are subjected to the pressures and slavery of modern society, the Muslim woman is truly free from this. In the west, women are expected to conform to the liberal fashions which appear daily. These fashions and expectations are often shaped by men. In this way, women become the slaves of society and man. Hijab is the liberator of this slavery. It takes women away from the obedience of man, to the obedience of the Most Perfect, Allaah. This obedience will only bring about good, because we believe that Allaah is the Most Kind and the Most Just. Slavery to the one with such characteristics, is a slavery of reward and contentment. It is not a slavery from which your fellow human (the woman) is exploited and oppressed, just because your desires and lusts run wild.

As a command of Allaah, the Hijaab has united the hearts of so many. Hijaab knows no colour, nationality, race, height or weight. Through obedience to Allaah, it truly unites the women of the world. Thus, this unification has surpassed the ranks and shallowness of all female liberation movements. Christian nuns, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, feminists, lesbians, women boxers and even female gang members, are all known to have become united under Islam and its Hijaab. It is truly a force to be reckoned with. It must be remembered that this obedience to Allaah is a voluntary act from most Muslim women. Many assume that those brought up as Muslims, have always been wearing Hijaab. However, this is not so. Many Muslim women (especially in the UK), who are Muslim by name, often know very little of Islam. When they discover its true meaning, most of them willingly adopt the Hijaab simply to obey their Creator, and not because of any external pressures.

Wearing the Hijaab is no futile action. A woman may go through much trial and tribulation[6] because she has obeyed Allaah. But the fulfilment of this action will never go unnoticed, as Allaah say :

"Never will I allow to be lost the actions of any of you; whether male or female" (Surah Al-Imran 3:195)

The result of these obedient actions will be an everlasting reward. A reward which all Muslim women aspire for. A reward called paradise :

"And whosoever does righteous actions- whether male or female, and is a believer, will enter paradise" (Sura An-Nisa 4:124)

-A Shield- Allaah says :

Allaah says :

"O’ Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their veils over their bodies. That is most convenient that they should be recognised and not be molested" (Sura Al-Ahzab 33:59)

One of the greatest benefits of Hijaab, is the natural protection it gives to a woman. By wearing Hijaab, a woman shields herself from the rampant desires of man. By his very nature, man is a creature of intense desire. The Hijaab controls this desire and thus not only protects the woman, but also the man. Sexually motivated crimes in the west are on the increase. Rape, molestation and harassment are reaching epidemic levels. Undoubtedly the clothing of a woman has something to do with this. When women walk around with literally nothing on, some men see it as a signal to do as they please. This results in the honour of a woman being scarred for life. The Muslim woman does not have this problem. She knows that when she walks on the streets, the men will not look at her. Why? Because there is nothing for them to look at!! She feels like a princess who is shielded from the savages of her domain. Peace and security is felt beneath the veil. The woman of Hijaab does not have to reveal her body in order to gain respect. She does not have to have her ‘bits’ hanging out so that men can drool over her. If a man desires her, then it has to be for her religion and intellect. The Hijaab gives him no other choice. She is a woman who is truly shielded from the nature of man.[7]

-Nature- The nature of a woman is fundamentally different from man. Women are more timid, gentle and caring then men. This is the reason why they have been chosen (by Allaah) to be the perfect rearers of children. The Hijaab reinforces this nature of the woman. We praise Allaah that he has ordered this Hijaab, for the world that we live in seeks to change our very nature as human beings. Men try to be women and women try to be men. People are being led into confusion by the political correctness which is so popular in our societies. Many women have jumped onto the bandwagon of feminism and lesbianism, shouting how evil and oppressive men are. But when one looks at these sad creatures, their delusion is clear. While claiming to hate men, their attire suggests otherwise. Short hair, bomber jackets and steel toecapped boots, are the vogue for these women. Their hatred for men is so much, that their very appearance resembles the enemy!! Some of these women have even gone to the extreme of growing masses of facial hair. The hideous site of these bearded ladies, is enough to put anyone off their dinner!!! Such depravity is far from natural. The Hijab on the other hand, enables the woman to stay as a woman. Rather then being a monstrosity, a woman in Hijab is like an oyster with a beautiful pearl inside it. Her femininity has stayed feminine, without being altered into masculinity. There is no doubt about it, this is a TRUE WOMAN.

-Honour- Contrary to the tales of the media, the Hijab provides an honour for the woman like no other garment does. For many women, a dress designed by Versace[8] or Armani is all the honour they need. But the Hijaab carries far more honour then these worthless clothes. Whilst the dresses of the catwalks are designed by mere mortals, the Hijaab comes from the one who is immortal, Allaah. Through it a woman is held with the utmost respect. True Muslim men are obliged to keep their Muslim sisters away from the corruption of this world. Thus a Muslim will not allow for someone to ogle his wife, chat her up or harass her. The honour of a Muslim woman demands that this does not happen. How contrary this is to life in the west. Men in the west feel no obligation to protect women from the harms of society. This is why a man will allow his wife to be a stripper, call-girl and even a prostitute. Honour knows no place in the west. This honour will only be achieved from Islam and its Hijab.

The honour of a Muslim woman is so high, that we believe that the state of a society is dependent upon its women. If the women are corrupt and immoral, then the society will be corrupt and immoral. If the women are righteous and god-fearing, then the society will be righteous and god-fearing. Women are the educators of the nation. But if they have no honour and have been corrupted, then society will be void of education and steeped in ignorance. This is the predicament of a society which rejects Hijab. This is the predicament of all Western societies, which stubbornly cling onto their depressing ways of life.

Those who seek to reject Hijab after reading this, then their loss will eventually become apparent. But those who seek to please Allaah through this action, can be sure that this good can only bring more good:
Contrary to the tales of the media, the Hijab provides an honour for the woman like no other garment does. For many women, a dress designed by Versace[8] or Armani is all the honour they need. But the Hijaab carries far more honour then these worthless clothes. Whilst the dresses of the catwalks are designed by mere mortals, the Hijaab comes from the one who is immortal, Allaah. Through it a woman is held with the utmost respect. True Muslim men are obliged to keep their Muslim sisters away from the corruption of this world. Thus a Muslim will not allow for someone to ogle his wife, chat her up or harass her. The honour of a Muslim woman demands that this does not happen. How contrary this is to life in the west. Men in the west feel no obligation to protect women from the harms of society. This is why a man will allow his wife to be a stripper, call-girl and even a prostitute. Honour knows no place in the west. This honour will only be achieved from Islam and its Hijab.

The honour of a Muslim woman is so high, that we believe that the state of a society is dependent upon its women. If the women are corrupt and immoral, then the society will be corrupt and immoral. If the women are righteous and god-fearing, then the society will be righteous and god-fearing. Women are the educators of the nation. But if they have no honour and have been corrupted, then society will be void of education and steeped in ignorance. This is the predicament of a society which rejects Hijab. This is the predicament of all Western societies, which stubbornly cling onto their depressing ways of life.

Those who seek to reject Hijab after reading this, then their loss will eventually become apparent. But those who seek to please Allaah through this action, can be sure that this good can only bring more good:

"Is there any reward for good – other then goodness?" (Sura Ar-Rahman 55:60)

Footnotes:

1. The British media is an example of this. Whilst condemning the Hijaab as oppressive, it is well known that newspapers such as The Sun and The News of the World, often display pictures of naked women. This of course, is the liberation which the West claims to give women!
2. Dr Zaki Badawi is a self-styled mufti who is unfortunately seen as a public face of Islam. A number of years ago, Dr. Badawi appeared on Dutch T.V. proclaiming that Hijaab was not obligatory. This announcement caused much confusion and resulted in some women taking their Hijaab off.
3. Authentic – Reported by Al-Bayhaqee.
4. Even though it is not obligatory to cover the face and hands, it is without doubt recommended that the niqaab (the face veil) and/or gloves be worn. Such acts are seen as modesty and piety from the woman, and they can only bring her more reward.
5. The proofs for these conditions can be found in an excellent book entitled "The Islamic ruling regarding Women’s dress, according to the Qur’an and Sunnah" by Abu Bilal Mustafa Al-Kanadi.
6. Wearing Hijaab in the West can be a struggle for many women. The hypocrisy of the West is such, that it does not respect this choice which is made willingly, and subjects these women to much psychological pressure. 2 years ago, two Muslim girls were even expelled from a school in France because they wore Hijaab. Freedom has truly been given a new meaning!
7. "A view through Hijaab" is an informative account of life in Hijaab. Written by Khaula Nakata, it is the experience of Hijaab as seen through the eyes of a Japanese woman who embraced Islam.
8. There will be no more dresses designed by Gianni Versace!! The evils of Homosexuality ensured that this man (?) reaped the fruits of his unholy labour.

[Article taken from ‘Invitation to Islam’ newsletter, September 1997]

Work-At-Home Muslimah

2007-10-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

Allah says: “ Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other and because of what they spend to support them from their wealth. ” [Sûrah al-Nisâ': 34]

It is the duty of the men to take care of women in Islaam - and it is their duty to spend their wealth to take care of the family, insha'Allaah. But sometimes our husbands are not able to work - and we need to go to work out of necessity.

It is not forbidden for a Muslim Woman to have a business, inshaAllaah. You can read more about that in the fatawaa section. She can earn and spend her money in halaal purposes as she pleases. We may also support our families by earning money. One shouldn't forget to give sadaqah either, inshaAllaah.

If a Muslimah wants to work - it is not that easy to find a suitable work. Teaching, nursing and sewing jobs are very popular among sisters. But also if you live in a non-Muslim country this will mean entering into free-mixing schools and work places in most cases.

Running a home-based business is probably the best choice for a Muslimah. You will not need to worry about free-mixing because you are in control of who you will meet. You are in control when you will work. You are in control how much you will work. And - you can stay at home with your children, inshaAllaah.

A word of warning to my dear sisters. The Internet is full of earning opportunities. Some of them are even illegal and some are simply scams. Some are not halaal for Muslims to take part in. If something sounds too good to be true - it probably is a scam and you should stay away from it.

The Manners of Welcoming the New-Born Child in Islaam

2007-10-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

Consists of listed information about what the parents need to do when their child is born
"Our Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) was a living example, educating, cultivating the Muslims upon the practices of Islaam, teaching them how to worship their Lord in the best of ways."

Children are a source of delight and an adornment for the world granted by Allaah to their parents, they give vigour to the hearts, joy to the souls, pleasure to the eyes. They are the fruit from whom good is to be hoped for when they frequently supplicate:

"Our Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small"

and they are the ones in every nation upon whom hope for the future lies, and they are the youth of tomorrow upon whose shoulders the call to Islaam is carried. Indeed Islaam has indeed elevated the status of children and has laid down manners for their treatment relating to all their affairs and each stage of their and from these are the manners for welcoming their arrival in this life.

Our Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) was a living example, educating, cultivating the Muslims upon the practices of Islaam, teaching them how to worship their Lord in the best of ways. But a number of Muslims have strayed from his pure teachings and have substituted that which is gold for that which worthless.

So here are the manners the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) taught us with regards our new-born.

Encouragement to have Children

Allaah says, "So now have sexual relations with them,, and seek that which Allaah has ordained for you."

And the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Marry the loving and fertile because through you, I will compete with the nations for superiority in numbers"(Abu Dawood)

And it is important that the Parents bring up their children upon righteousness, so that the Parents will benefit from them during their lives and after their death. Allaah's Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said,

"A servant will have his rank raised and will say, 'O my Lord how has this come about for me?' He says, 'through your sons after you seeking forgiveness for you'"(ibn Maajah)

Know that what has preceded applies equally to both boys and girls, and indeed Islaam has encouraged the bringing up of girls, and Allaah condemns those that are distressed at the birth of a girl, and the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) came elevating the status of this gift from Allaah,

"whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come together on the Day of Resurrection (like this) - and he interlaced his two fingers"(Muslim)

meaning in Paradise. So can their be a greater honour given to daughters?!

Giving the good news of the Birth

The near of kin who are anxiously waiting should be informed so that they can stop worrying and congratulate the parents and supplicate for the baby. Allaah mentions this good news being conveyed to a number of His Prophets, from them Zakariyyah of his son Yahya,

"Then the angels called him, while he was standing in prayer in a private room (saying), 'Allaah gives you glad tidings of Yahya'"

4) The Tahneek

This means to softening a date and then rubbing the palate of the new-born with it just after the birth or soon after. This is done by putting a piece of the softened date on the finger and rubbing it from left to right in the mouth of the baby.

Ibn Hajr said, "if one is not able to find a dry date, then a fresh date should be used, and if that is not available then anything sweet." (Fath 9/588)

It is not essential to chew the date rather it may be softened in any way. The action of chewing as reported in the sunnah was something specific to the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) due to the blessings that Allaah had placed in his saliva.

It is done by the father or the mother or anyone from the People of Knowledge whose supplication is hoped would be accepted. So he should perform tahneek and supplicate for the child as was the practice of the Companions.

Imaam Nawawee says, " scholars are agreed upon the recommendation of performing tahneek upon the baby after it's birth." (Sharh Saheeh Muslim 4/122)

Aaishah (ra) reports, "new-born children used to be brought to the Messenger of Allaah and he would supplicate for blessings for them, and rub a chewed date upon their palate." (Muslim)

Naming the child

The baby may be named on the day of it's birth or later on the seventh day or past the seventh day, as this is what is clear after study of all the evidences from the sunnah.

It is the father or the mother who chose the name for the baby. If they differ amongst themselves then it is the father who has the choice, he may name it himself or give his wife the right to choose. The fact that this is the right of the father is shown by the principle that the child is ascribed and attributed to the father, as Allaah says,

"Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just in the Sight of Allaah"

It is also allowed for the parents to allow others to name the child, since our Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) used to name some of the children of his Companions.

The name should carry a good and praiseworthy meaning as the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said,

"On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and your fathers names, so make your names good." (Abu Dawood)

It is recommended to call oneself a servant of Allaah (Abdullaah) or the servant of any of the names of Allaah. Then it is recommended to name a child after a prophet, due to the hadeeth,

"call yourselves by the names of the Prophets" (Abu Dawood)

and the hadeeth,

"a son was born to me this night and I called him after my forefather Ibraaheem" (Muslim)

Then it is recommended to name the child after any pious person in the hope that it will become like him/her. Then it is recommended to name by any name which has good meaning.

It is forbidden to name a child with a name that denote servitude to other than Allaah, for example Abd an-Nabi, Abd ar-Rasool etc, just as it is forbidden to name them with names that are particular to the Unbelievers like George, Michael, Susan etc.

The names of tyrants and evil personalities should be avoided such as Fir'awn, Qaroon, Abu Lahab etc.. Likewise it is disliked to name with the names of the Surahs of the Qur'aan like 'Taa Haa' or 'Yaa Seen' as is reported from Imaam Maalik and others. There is no authentic hadeeth which ascribes the above two as being names of the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam).

6) The Aqeeqah

After the seventh day of the arrival of the new-born, as a form of welcome for it and to give thanks to the One who gave the blessings, it is prescribed to slaughter a sheep. The Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said,

"Every child is in pledge for it's Aqeeqah which is sacrificed for it on its seventh day, and it is named on it, and its head is shaved" (Abu Dawood)

If the new-born is a boy then two sheep are to be sacrificed, and if it is a girl then one sheep. This is the position of the majority of the scholars and Companions. The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said,

"for the boy two equal sheep, and for the girl, a single sheep." (Ibn Maajah)

So it is permissible to sacrifice the male or female sheep or goat, and this is best. As for sacrificing other animals then the scholars have differed over this.

The sacrifice should be done by the father or a close relative, for our Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) performed the Aqeeqah for his two grandsons. It is also obligatory to mention the name of Allaah over it while sacrificing, and if a close relative is performing the Aqeeqah then he should add, 'this aqeeqah is the Aqeeqah of so and so' mentioning the name of the person on whose behalf he is performing the aqeeqah, as is reported in the hadeeth related by al-Bayhaqee.

The meat of the sacrifice may be distributed cooked or uncooked,, but it is preferred that it should be cooked as this leads to greater blessing as mentioned by a group of the scholars.

Shaving the baby's head

On the seventh day after the birth the head of the baby should be shaved. So when al-Hasan was born the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) told his daughter, Faatima (RA),

"shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver to the poor" (Ahmad)

The right side of the head should be shaved first, then the left as mentioned in the hadeeth,

"shave, and he indicated to the right side of his head, and then the left" (Muslim)

It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part, as this was prohibited by the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) as reported by al-Bukhaaree. The strongest view seems to be that the head of the boy or the girl should be shaved, as is reported that Faatimah weighed the hair of her daughter (Muwatta) but the scholars differ on this, and Allaah knows best.

The shaving should be done after the sacrifice, and our pious predecessors liked to rub some perfume over the baby's head after the shaving.

Then it is prescribed to give the value of the baby's weight of hair in silver in charity, and it is recommended to give this charity on the seventh day also, but it is not necessary to do so, and may be delayed.

Circumcision

It is prescribed that the boy be circumcised, it is recommended that the circumcision take place on the seventh day, but it is obligatory to circumcise before the boy reaches puberty.

Some Authentic Ahaadeeth on Marriage

2007-10-26T06:54:00.000-07:00

General ahaadeeth pertaining to the procedures of marriage

"The ahaadeeth contained in it are basic and are not intended to be used by the common person to derive interpretations, rather they are for the benefit of of readers in general."

The Following are authentic proofs. I have taken most of them from the book 'Saheeh Al Jaami' As Sagheer wa Ziyaadatuhu' by the scholar, the Muhadith of our age, Muhammad Naasir ud Deen Al Albaanee. Two of the proofs were taken from It'haaf Al Karaam Ta'leeq Alaa Buloogh Al Maraam by Shaykh Safee Ar-Rahmaan Al Mubaarakfooree.{The one who wrote Raheeq Al Makhtoom} Note that I am using the new edition of Saheeh Al Jaami', so the numbering of the Ahaadeeth is not the same as those from the old version. You can refer to the Tarteeb of Shaykh Zuhayr Shaaweesh to the new edition InshaAllaah.

Here is what was easy for me to compile as proofs for the points I mentioned earlier:

1. THE MUTUAL AGREEMENT

"A Woman is not married until she is consulted, and a virgin is not married until you have her permission." They said, "O messenger of Allaah! And how do obtain her permission? He(Sallallaahu Alay hi Wa Sallam) said: "If she is silent." (An taskuta)

[reported by Abu Hurayrah (r)] [Bukhaaree, Muslim, Abu Daawood, and an-Nisaa'ee]

Shaykh Al Albaanee reports it in Mukhtasar Saheeh Muslim no. 602

He makes the takhreej of it in Irwaa Al Ghaleel no. 1727

He declares it authentic in Saheeh Al Jaami' vol. 2, no. 7470

2. THE WALEE

"There is no nikaah, except with a Walee." (Laa nikah illaa bi walee)

[reported by Ibn Abbas (r)] [Ahmad, Abu Daawood, an-Nisaa'ee, At-Tirmidthi, it was authenticated by Imaam Al Haakim - this particular chain is from Abi Moosaa] [It comes from another authentic chain in Ibn Maajah from Ibn Abbaas (r)]

Shaykh Al Albaanee makes the takhreej of it in Irwaa Al Ghaleel no. 1839

He decalares it authentic in Saheeh Al Jaami' vol. 2, no. 7555

NOTE: So both chains are authentic.

b. "There is no marriage except with a Walee, and the Sultaan is the Walee for whomever there is no Walee."

[reported by Aa'ishah(r)] [Ahmad, Ibn Maajah]

Shaykh Al Albaanee declares it authentic in Saheeh Al Jaami' vol. 2, no. 7556.

3. THE WITNESSES

"There is no marriage except with a Walee, and trustworthy witnesses." (Wa Shaahidee 'Adl)

[reported by Umraan, and Aa'ishah(r)] [Bayhaqee]

Shaykh Al Albaanee makes the takhreej of it in Irwaa Al Ghaleel no.'s 1839, 1858, 1860

He declares it authentic in Saheeh Al Jaami' vol. 2, no. 7557

b. "There is no marriage except with a Walee, and two witnesses."

[reported by Abi Moosaa] [At-Tabaraani in Al Kabeer]

Shaykh Al Albaanee makes the takhreej for it in Irwaa Al Ghaleel no. 1839, 1858.

He declares it authentic in Saheeh Al Jaami' vol. 2, no. 7558.

4. THE CONTRACT

In It'haaf Al Karaam, I found the following:

(1018) And from Mu'aawiyah ibn Hakeem from his father that he said, "I said, 'O Messenger of Allaah(Sallallaahu Alayhi Wa Sallam), What is the right that one of our wives has over us?' So he said, 'Feed her when you eat, clothe her when you wear clothes, and do not strike her on the face, and do not revile her or make hijrah from her, except in the house.'

[recorded by Ahmad, and Abu Daawood, and Nisaa'ee, and Ibn Maajah, and Bukhaaree with some parts of it being Mu'allaq, and it was authenticated by Ibn Hibbaan, and Imaam Al Haakim] Shaykh Mubaarakfooree also considers it to be Saheeh. It can be found on p. 304 of It'haaf Al Karaam.

5. THE DOWRY

"The best dowry is the most easy."

[reported by 'Uqbah Ibn Aamir] [Abu Daawood, Ibn Maajah, it was authenticated by Imaam Al Haakim]

Shaykh Al Albaanee makes the Takhreej for it in Irwaa Al Ghaleel no. 1923

He declares it authentic in Saheeh Al Jaami' Vol. 2, 3279

The following is taken from It'haaf Al Karaam p. 307:

Chapter: The Dowry

(1027) From Anas(r) from the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) that he freed Safiyyah, and made her manumittance, her dowry. [Agreed Upon] Shaykh Mubaarakfooree mentions that there are some Fiqh differences among the scholars regarding manumittance as a dowry, but the overall presence of a dowry in marriage can be established from this authentic Hadeeth in general. And Verily Our Lord The Most High Knows Best.

Marriage Matters - Muslimah and Her Marriage

2007-10-26T06:08:00.000-07:00

وَمِنْ ءايَـتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَجاً
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. (Ar-Rum 30:21)

وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إِلَيْهَا
It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." (Al-A'raf 7:189)

Marriage is an important part of a Muslim(ah)'s life. Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, has told us that it is half of our Deen. A successful marriage can be achieved by following the guidelines of our Deen and by the Will of Allaah, subhaanahu wa Taa'ala. If you are not yet married, pay attention to choosing a righteous spouse - you have a goal that you both try to reach, ie. striving for the sake of Allaah in order to enter Paradise, by the will of Allaah. And if you are married already, fulfill the rights of your husband. By doing this you are obeying Allaah and earning reward. Study this Deen together with your spouse and help each other in fulfilling your duties.

"If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her: 'Enter Paradise by whichever of its gates you wish.'" [Reported by Ahmad and al-Tabarani; its narrators are thiqat. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 4/306, Bab haqq al-zawj 'ala'l-mar'ah.]

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: "The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: 'Any woman who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.'" [Ibn Majah, 1/595, Kitab al-nikah, bab haqq al-zawj 'ala'l-mar'ah; al-Hakim, 4/173, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah; he said its isnad is sahih.]

We have also gathered resources related to polygyny. Most resources online concentrate on explaining that it is lawful for a man to have up to four wives. We have included some of these resources but we have also tried to find resources that deal with the emotional side that women go through in polygyny. It can be a great jihaad for a sister yet the rewards will be great, insha'Allaah.

May Allaah give us Muslimaat the strenght and patience to be good and righteous wives, ameen.

Choosing the Desired Wife

2007-10-26T00:38:00.001-07:00

Find out what one should look for in a prospective wife.
"When seriously considering marriage, you must pose the question to yourself as to just what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how you will know who she is."

All praise is due to Allaah, Lord of the worlds, the Merciful, the Hearer of supplications, and peace and blessings upon our beloved and humble prophet Muhammad,and upon his family and companions.

When marriage is spoken of during these "modern" times, Muslims become horrified, conjuring images of an arranged marriage, trying to find that "perfect" companion, how much of a financial burden it will become, and so on. The reality is that Islam came to solve these problems, not exacerbate them, yet unfortunately we have integrated our local traditions and customs with Islam so that marriage has become a major concern for a man rather than a delightful experience.

When living in a free, perverted and corrupt Western society, the Muslim male youth finds many temptations and tests, as a result of mixing with females, which he must face and overcome. He must constantly resist these temptations, which are thrown at him in the streets, on the media, and at work. And so the wisdom of the Prophet (s.a.w) echoes on,when he said: "O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting (evil glances), and preserves one from immorality..."

When seriously considering marriage, you must pose the question to yourself as to just what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how you will know who she is. As Muslims, we believe that Allaah wants the best for us, and that His Prophet (s.a.w) illustrated this through his own life. So note that by following the advise of our own Creator, and that of His beloved servant, we can only be successful.

WHO TO MARRY Islam is clear on the kind of wife you should be seeking. The Prophet (s.a.w) said: "A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." This specifically defines just what kind of a companion we are seeking, for if we marry her for anything other than her religious piety, our marriage is bound to fall into misery. True, beauty and charm is hard to resist, yet beauty does not last forever and does not guarantee you her obedience and religiousness. Financial status is dynamic, and so is worldly status, yet religion strongly establishes a household, and it may be that through your intention of marrying her for her religion, the rest is given to you anyway.

In another hadith, the Prophet (s.a.w) said: "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." Imagine! Nothing in this world is as valuable as a pious woman! This point has been stressed many times by RasulAllaah (s.a.w), who himself, when asked what three things he loved the most, mentioned a pious woman. Once the following ayah was revealed: "They who hoard up gold and silver and do not spend it in the way of Allaah, unto them give tidings of a painful doom. On that day when it will (all) be heated in the fire of Jahannam, and their foreheads and flanks and their backs will be branded therewith (and it will be said to them): 'Here is what you hoarded for yourselves, now taste of what you used to hoard' "[al-Taubah: 34-35]. Umar (r.a.a) has been quoted to say that, when this ayah was revealed, he approached the Prophet (s.a.w), submitting that the ayah weighed heavily on the minds of the Sahaba. RasulAllaah (s.a.w) replied that the best thing to be treasured is the devoted wife who causes pleasure when seen, obeys orders instantly and takes full care of herself and her husbands property when he is away.

Abu Bakr once asked RasulAllaah (s.a.w) what was the best thing to be treasured, and he (s.a.w) replied: "the tongue in remembrance of Allaah, the heart filled with thanks to Allaah, and a pious wife who helps in virtuous deeds". Look at how valuable such a woman is in the sight of Allaah! How can a man live unhappily with such a person.

QUALITIES OF THE PIOUS WOMAN Alright, you say, you've convinced me, but what actually makes her a pious woman? The answer is simple: Allaah himself has described those qualities most loved by Him in the Qur'an, and in the ahadith there are numerous accounts of the virtuous attributes of a pious woman. The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities. The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities. "And women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity"[s.24;v.26]

"Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allaah would have them guard"[s.4;v.34]

"It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allaah will give him in exchange consorts better than you, who submit (Muslims), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allaah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for faith) and fast..."[s.66;v.5].

And then, in surah Ahzab, is a full list of those qualities loved by Allaah, qualities which by the way should be evident in both males and females. So, my dear brother, choose her for the following attributes:

-a Muslim woman
-a Muslim woman
-a believing woman
-a devout woman
-a true woman
-a woman who is patient and constant
-a woman who humbles herself
-a woman who gives charity
-a woman who fasts and denies herself
-a woman who guards her chastity
-a woman who engages much in Allaah's praise. Among the four known perfect women was Maryam. She was loved by Allaah because of her religious qualities: "O Maryam! Worship your Lord: prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with those who bow down"[s.3;v.43]. Another was the wife of Pharaoh: "And Allaah sets forth, as an example to those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh: behold she said: 'O my Lord, build for me, in nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden' "[s.66;v.11].

The Prophet (s.a.w) loved his wives because of their religious qualities. Aisha once related the fine qualities of Zainab: "(Zainab) was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in the eyes of Allaah's Messenger (s.a.w), and I have never seen a woman more advanced in religious piety than Zainab, more God-conscious, more truthful, more alive to the ties of blood, more generous and having more sense of self-sacrifice in practical life and having more charitable disposition and thus more closer to Allaah, the Exalted, than her."

Ah, you think, but you'll never find such a woman! Well, if that was true, Allaah would not have described her in the first place, and furthermore those qualities were emanating from the women described above. Islam deals with reality, not fiction. Sure, the perfect woman doesn't exist, yet "if you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allaah brings about through it a great deal of good"[s.4;v.19]. Remember also that you are not perfect either.

KNOWING WHO SHE IS

To find that pious woman, there are two steps to be taken, and that first one relies on your personal observation. In surah Nisaa, Allaah asks the believing women that they should "lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments," and also that they "should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments"[s.24;v.31]. If you notice a woman acting modestly, being not too obvious through her actions (by lowering her voice when around men), one who attempts to hide her attractions (which includes her external beauty as well as her internal charms), then you know she has some of those precious qualities. When you see a woman unashamedly flirting, unconcerned about her revealing clothes, and freely converses with males- keep far, far away. I'm sure when you get married you want your wife to devote her love to you, not to twenty other "just good friends".

Through simple observation, you can get a glimpse of her nature; for example, the way she stands when conversing, how she maintains eye-contact, her clothes, where she spends her time etc. Look for her strong points, and don't stress on her weak ones.

Yet, after all this, we still have to come to the most important topic. You can look all you want at her, set a private investigator to track her Yet, after all this, we still have to come to the most important topic. You can look all you want at her, set a private investigator to track her movements, read her diaries (all of which I consider extreme and unIslamic), yet, my dear brother, no-one knows her heart and intentions, no-one knows whether she will turn sour or more religious, or whether you are suitable for each other, except for Allaah.

TRUST IN Allaah

We are choosing our wife for her permanent values; namely her religious devotions, moral integrity, character etc. But believe me, if we try ourselves to combine a marriage, we are almost sure to fail, because we have no knowledge.

Allaah loves a servant when he puts his trust in Him. When we do so, it is illustrating how we rely upon Him for help, and proving our sincerity to Him, establishing that we recognize His infinite knowledge and wisdom. illustrating how we rely upon Him for help, and proving our sincerity to Him, establishing that we recognize His infinite knowledge and wisdom. Islam is likened to being as a house, and in my estimation nothing cements that house together as well as putting our trust in Allaah. It is related on the authority of Jabir ibn 'Abdullah that the Prophet (s.a.w) used to teach his companions to seek, through a special du'a (known as an istikharah), the guidance of Allaah in all matters which affected them. RasulAllaah (s.a.w) said: "When you are confused about what you should do in a certain situation, then pray two rak'at of nafl salaat and read the following du'a (du'a of istikharah)."

I am surprised at the criticisms thrown at this du'a, and of its negligence. We are humans, powerless in this sphere of life, knowledgeable only enough to survive. So why shouldn't we turn to Allaah and seek His perfect help whenever we require it? Allaah responds to the call of His servant when he asks for guidance, and we are after all seeking to do something in order to please Him.

Many wrong notions exist concerning istikharah. Many Muslims will pray, read the du'a, and run to bed expecting to see a dream showing them their future wife, what her favorite color is, and some other weird fantasy. That is not the purpose of this salaat.

The results of an istikharah can take many forms. Basically, you go by your feelings, (i.e. you think about everything carefully and then make a decision ) . Also, you may notice events have changed, either for or against you - so you re-evaluate your situation again - and perhaps your decision might change. Finally, as a wonderful gift from Allaah, you may be blessed with a dream.

The Prophet (s.a.w) once sent Zainab a proposal of marriage. She refused to accept the proposal straight away, expressing her intention to refer the matter to Allaah: "I do not do anything until I solicit the will of my Lord." Allaah, the Responsive, answered her plea for help and revealed an ayah approving of the marriage. We may seem shocked at her refusal to accept a proposal from what is the best husband any woman can have, yet she was just recognizing that it is Allaah who knows how successful such a marriage will be, and as a sign of appreciation, that reply is now preserved in our Holy Book: al Qur'an.

The Prophet (s.a.w) once said to Aisha: "I saw you in a dream for three nights when an angel brought you to me in a silk cloth and he said: 'Here is your wife', and when I removed (the cloth) from your face, lo, it was yourself, so I said: 'if this is from Allaah, let Him carry it out' ". Marriage is a serious step, and requires the right attitude. If marriage completes half our faith, shouldn't that half be the best half? A woman married for the wrong reasons can only weaken the Muslim household. Consider that she will be your life-long companion, the rarer of your children. Don't marry her for her worldly wealth, but for her wealth in Islamic wisdom and knowledge. Her status in this life is but illusionary, so choose her for her status in the sight of Allaah. Beauty is but superficial, but the beauty of Iman is transcendent. When asking Allaah for a wife, call upon Him by His beautiful names, as He has commanded us: "For Allaah are certain and dignified names: therefore call upon Him by them"[s.7;v.189]. Ask for a companion who is devout, pious, patient and so on. Be among those who say: "Our Lord, may our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous"[al-Furqan,74]. I cannot provide a better conclusion than saying that you must put your trust in Allaah. You must have trust in His concern for us, and His ability to help us. Allaah says: "Put your trust in Allaah, for Allaah loves those who put their trust in Him"[s.3;v.159]. May Allaah help us in our sincere efforts in following His commandments and the way of His beloved servant, and provide us with wives whom He loves.

"When my servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me: let them also, with a will, listen to my call, and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way"[al-Baqarah,v.186]

Choosing a Husband

2007-10-26T00:09:00.000-07:00

"So what is important is that the woman should concentrate on good character and practice of the Deen"

Question: What are the most important matters which should form the basis for a woman to choose a husband, and does refusing a righteous person for worldly reasons bring Allaah's punishment upon her?

Answer: The most important attributes which a woman should seek in one proposing marriage are good character and Deen (Practice of the Religion). As regards wealth and lineage, then these are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the one proposing the marriage should be good in the Deen and in his character - since regarding one possessing Deen and good character, she will not lose out in any respect: if he keeps her, then he will do so in a good manner and if he releases her, he will do so in a good manner. Furthermore, the one possessing Deen and good character will be a blessing for her and her children and she will learn good manners and the Deen from him.

But if the person is one who does not have these attributes then she should avoid him - especially those who are negligent about the prayers, or one who is known to drink intoxicants - and Allaah's refuge is sought... So what is important is that the woman should concentrate on good character and practice of the Deen. As regards lineage, then if it is attainable additionally, then that is more fitting, since Allaah's Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: If there comes to you one whose Deen and character is pleasing then give [the woman] in marriage to him

However if one who is also similar in standing is found then that is better.

Shaikh Ibn Uthaimeen in Fataawal-Mar'ah Vol. 1. p.50